tl;cr meme

[marriagebroker]

post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.

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[phenomerom]

I’ve mentioned it here and there, but just to summarize it more cleanly: Rom fundamentally considers himself a person distanced from most interpersonal relationships, let alone anything even remotely romantic. Thus, he came into AYTO with the expectation that he was recruited to fill up the cast numbers and play a certain role. Specifically, he believed he was expected to play the role of the unappealing oddball weirdo, which is both a staple of reality TV as well as being a role he could believably digest, and he would probably be paired with a fellow ‘outsider’ just to round things out. And though this sort of prolonged playacting isn’t in his wheelhouse, he thought the promise of getting a wish as a reward for four weeks of play-acting was too good of a deal to just turn down.

Thus he committed himself to playing that role, and approached the first two weeks of match discussions under that calculus. It was under this assumption that he chose Messmer for his first week’s match; though it wasn’t completely debunked by any of the group’s math by the second match ceremony, he did start getting the sense that perhaps he and Messmer weren’t on the same page, thus making him doubt his own assumptions. As for the second match ceremony itself – of course it did sting a little for him to not be chosen at all. He’s still human, after all, and even if he’s (mostly voluntarily) accepted his role as ‘not someone appealing to polite society,’ he isn’t immune when faced with a blunt rejection like that, even if he rationally knew it was meaningless and partially decided by luck. But okay! That was fine! Given how Odile had self-professed herself as someone not quite suited to the game’s machinations, he considered her an extremely solid back-up option for his match, so this ceremony could still be useful if it confirmed their – oh, no, it’s a blackout, actually. Womp womp.

And that’s why Edamura probably found Rom kind of broody during the post-ceremony catherd. Rom had had both of his top two matches (guessed under his cynical calculus) basically eliminated and had no idea where to go from there. Going unchosen thus far had only bolstered in his mind that he had to continue approaching the game as an outsider, but it had also been largely fruitless thus far, and he was starting to run low on viable options. Not a good position to be in!

It’s against that rather bleak backdrop that Rom ended up having a lot of shockingly meaningful interactions with Edamura in week 3 – all things that, on their own, might not have been groundbreaking, but in combination really punched through those mental walls of his, especially since they happened when he was feeling kind of lost. Again, here, the fact that these moments were interwoven between playful banter helped Rom digest them without feeling like he was being ‘compromised’ or ‘not playing his role,’ even as he was forced to deal with matters sincerely. But, just things like …

Edamura listened to his explanation about what it’s like to have spiritual vision, and while he was aghast at it, he didn’t treat Rom any differently afterwards – no aversion or pity or disgust. The sort of reaction that Rom knows better than to expect from normal people, because that sort of hard disconnect from ‘normalcy’ is something that most people can’t digest, but Edamura was empathetic and open-minded enough to manage it. Then came Edamura’s confession of his job during the arcade date. (Sorry, skipping to this because on Rom’s end, giving Edamura the omamori was just part of his duty and thus not worth a second thought ekfjnwlefk). The fact that Edamura would trust him – someone actively pretending to be sleazy and suspicious – felt really special, and also established a faint commonality between them as being used to ‘playing roles.’ There was also something intimate about getting to know more about the sides that Edamura usually kept hidden – an unexpected boldness, a thirst for excitement, a surprisingly sly and conniving side when necessary. Even past the enticing, naughty feeling that comes from getting to see someone’s hidden side, Rom really admired that about Edamura, that he really was far more than the everyman he usually presented himself as, someone willing to deviate from the mold of being ‘a normal contributing member of society.’ And then their little discussion at the hot springs, with Edamura voluntarily wanting to help with his work even while knowing the risks – even if Rom would hesitate to actually let that happen, the sentiment alone was extremely novel and charming, simply because he’d always imagined himself working alone. Not to mention the intimacy of Edamura asking to see his hidden eye and still not balking at the sight of it, only showing concern for him. All little things that built up over the days, painting Edamura as a deeply caring and kind person, who he could trust, but wouldn’t pity him or treat him as something different.

Rom’s complete inexperience with romance meant it would’ve been impossible for him to put a word to what he was feeling, but he sure was feeling some sort of way about Edamura by the time the third match ceremony was looming over them.

This was deeply scary for him! Having to deal with actual feelings is fucking scary, as it turns out! You see, while this was going on, Rom had already had a very data-ful date discussion with Ringo about his most likely matches, and a very reasonable conclusion had been offered there: his most likely matches were Edamura, Yi Sang or Luka. And while Rom did immediately clock onto who he kind of wanted it to be … he also didn’t think it would be plausible. To think that Edamura – fussy and anxious, yes, but empathetic and friendly, who seemed to get along with just about everyone – would be matched with him felt like a blatant contradiction to his ‘roles’ approach to the game thus far. It’d be too convenient, too good to be true. Thus, he actually tried to convince himself (and Ringo) otherwise – that his commonality with Yi Sang as a fellow Fucking Weirdo (sorry Yi Sang), or with Luka as a beauty-and-the-beast type role-mismatch between fellow insincere performers, would make them more likely matches than Edamura.

Of course, in the end, when Ringo seemed deeply convinced (data-wise) that Edamura was his match, Rom did buckle and decide to take that thought to him during the pre-ceremony catherd. But to be honest – he was actually pretty scared then. A lifetime of playing calm in front of ghosts means Rom always fakes some level of casual and calm by reflex, but he was genuinely pretty anxious in going to talk to Edamura at that moment. It’s not even that he thought being deemed a ‘perfect match’ by the game would mean anything for them deeply? It was all just a part of the game? It wouldn’t have really meant anything if Edamura decided to say no to him, that he thought someone else would be a better match? But still … Canonically, Rom’s ultimately an extremely soft-hearted and altruistic guy under his creepy presentation. I have a hard time thinking he’d be able to completely divorce his emotions from the process of choosing and being chosen for the game. And especially because Edamura was a unique instance of a normal person he’d allowed close and connected to, the prospect of being told ‘no, I don’t think there’s anything between us’ was pretty nerve-wracking, even as he prepared himself for it. That’s why, when he approached Edamura pre-ceremony and broached the subject of them being a statistical match, he talked about it in an especially clipped and data-driven manner: to give himself the excuse that he was only speaking in terms of numbers, and to couch the matter in a way that he could accept whatever the response might be.

In his mind, the worst case scenario was being told no, and he’d deal with that one way or another. The best case scenario would be Edamura saying ‘sure, that sounds right.’ He never even considered the possibility of Edamura wanting to be the one to choose him.

Rom ended up playing it off pretty casually with just an ‘are you sure?’ but that was actually a pretty loaded question for him – asking at once ‘are you sure that’s the right course of action?’ as well as ‘are you sure you want that?’ I think no matter how much Rom accepts himself as an anomaly that has to be distanced from people, and even plays himself up as a freak for his Schemes, he’s still human in the end – he wants to feel wanted. Especially since he’s experienced pretty brutal abandonment before. So for better or for worse, there was a selfish element to him saying he wanted Edamura to be the one to go up on stage first – he did want to encourage Edamura’s resolve, of course, but he also wanted to bask in that feeling for himself for even a little bit longer. Though honestly, I think after their conversation, it wouldn’t have even mattered to him that much if he ended up being chosen to go first; just seeing Edamura so happy while talking about it, and wanting to do it meant the world to him.

Then everything did work out! I think for Rom, the whole ceremony ended up being a bit of a fever dream – from Edamura actually choosing him, to the sweet things he said, to holding hands while locking in, to the fact that the lights seemed to confirm them as a plausible match … it was all almost too much for him to process. And while Rom wouldn’t be able to use the L-word for a little longer, this is definitely when he properly fell in love with Edamura.

For the record, it’s not that he would have fallen for anyone who happened to choose him. He would have been moderately happy with the sensation, yes, but ‘being chosen’ alone wouldn’t have shaken up his emotions so much. What was special was ‘being chosen’ by someone he already felt so positively towards, who hadn’t balked away despite seeing so much of the ugliness he’s entangled with, who was a genuinely trustworthy person. There was a truly unique synergy between the slow build-up of their relationship and the explosive euphoria of the match ceremony – it’s like everything had a chance to build up like the pressure in a champagne bottle, and then Edamura choosing him popped the metaphorical cork. For Rom, it was just such a perfect encapsulation of Edamura’s empathy and understanding, his kindness, his ability to be proactive and decisive when it matters, the trust they’d managed to build up despite their respectively cagey natures … and finally, the fact that maybe Edamura does like him back. How could he not love the guy.