tl;cr meme

[marriagebroker]

post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.

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[ordimame]

I WELCOME ANY AND ALL YAPPING. places paws here!!

holds head in hands .............. 1/3

[phenomerom]

Edamura … sweet Edamame-chan … where do I even begin with what I already know is going to be a disgustingly long spiel, closes eyes ………

Okay, just gonna start from the top, which is that Rom actually kind of liked Edamura from the word go! Just, in a rather distanced and utilitarian way, of course.

For as generally unflappable as Rom acts, it’s not like he doesn’t have his own comfort zones where he feels more in his element. And given everything about AYTO – from the game’s premise, to the required activities, to the very fact that he was in the company of fellow non-normies – was far out of his regular territory, of course he immediately honed in on something he could use to ground himself back into familiar territory: bullying the resident normies, Edamura and Poppy. The push-and-pull of prodding at normies and being treated with suspicion isn’t necessarily something he enjoys intrinsically, but it is kind of like a comfortable form of enrichment for him? It’s familiar and rote and mildly entertaining for him, while also giving him a chance to play things up for the camera (but, like, without having to do weird romance-y stuff, which was still foreign territory for him), so of course as soon as he cottoned onto the two of them appearing to be normies, he started poking at them for the expected reactions. This adds an admittedly selfish element to the little pep talks and crumbs of encouragement he tried to give them when appropriate – like, yes, he did genuinely hope they’d feel a bit more at ease, but he also hoped they’d stay in good spirits instead of getting discouraged, because otherwise it just wouldn’t be as fun prodding at them.

Anyway, turns out Poppy is kinda hard to bully because she just bullies back preemptively … Which Rom doesn’t, like, mind, but it wasn’t what he was looking for? And that’s how Edamura became his prime enrichment/poking target, tehe! In part because of when he managed to catch Edamura (during his non-participation in spin the bottle), Rom clocked on pretty quick that Edamura was someone smart but maybe a bit too quick to run his mouth, very expressive, and trying charmingly hard to acclimate to unfamiliar surroundings – extremely cute and perfect for poking at, 10/10.

And honestly, I think the fact that Rom got to approach Edamura from an angle that was comfortable for himself (even if it wasn’t necessarily comfortable for Edamura, sorry Edamame-chan) helped a lot in transitioning their relationship from that cat-and-mouse type one-sided toying to something more genuine. Rom’s just not used to connecting meaningfully with people, after all, so I think someone more directly approaching him to try and form a connection would have just had him putting up his usual walls even higher out of unfamiliarity and nerves. Instead, the way that his interactions with Edamura wove sincere-ish discussion in between bouts of the more familiar push-and-pull meant he felt like he was learning more about Edamura on a personal level in a comfortable context, and thus didn’t feel as vulnerable reciprocating with his own tiny glimpses of honesty.

I think in a kind of macabre way, it also helped that they could have a very serious conversation about seeing Edamura’s mother’s “ghost.” While Rom’s certainly capable of being thoughtful or insightful in general, he’s ultimately most experienced dealing with the dead and the many complicated feelings surrounding that subject. It’s within that familiar territory that he felt he could offer genuinely useful counsel to Edamura, and it also helped him get a better glimpse of Edamura, too – the complicated tangle of his emotions, glimpses of what a troubled life he seemed to have led (despite presenting as a pretty milquetoast everyman at first glance), and a touch of something more strong-willed and conniving under that easy-to-provoke fluster. Again, charming and appealing to him, though at the moment, Rom still didn’t give it too much thought beyond a vague comfort and fondness. But maybe it’s because he’d been eased into things to that point that he felt it was permissible to talk about his responsibility for Towako’s death – a subject that’s affected him deeply, which he’s normally loathe to discuss.

And that brings them to the end of week two. It’s so funny to me that you mentioned in the CR chart that Edamura found Rom kind of broody after the second match ceremony, because he really was feeling kind of cornered by that point.

[phenomerom]

I’ve mentioned it here and there, but just to summarize it more cleanly: Rom fundamentally considers himself a person distanced from most interpersonal relationships, let alone anything even remotely romantic. Thus, he came into AYTO with the expectation that he was recruited to fill up the cast numbers and play a certain role. Specifically, he believed he was expected to play the role of the unappealing oddball weirdo, which is both a staple of reality TV as well as being a role he could believably digest, and he would probably be paired with a fellow ‘outsider’ just to round things out. And though this sort of prolonged playacting isn’t in his wheelhouse, he thought the promise of getting a wish as a reward for four weeks of play-acting was too good of a deal to just turn down.

Thus he committed himself to playing that role, and approached the first two weeks of match discussions under that calculus. It was under this assumption that he chose Messmer for his first week’s match; though it wasn’t completely debunked by any of the group’s math by the second match ceremony, he did start getting the sense that perhaps he and Messmer weren’t on the same page, thus making him doubt his own assumptions. As for the second match ceremony itself – of course it did sting a little for him to not be chosen at all. He’s still human, after all, and even if he’s (mostly voluntarily) accepted his role as ‘not someone appealing to polite society,’ he isn’t immune when faced with a blunt rejection like that, even if he rationally knew it was meaningless and partially decided by luck. But okay! That was fine! Given how Odile had self-professed herself as someone not quite suited to the game’s machinations, he considered her an extremely solid back-up option for his match, so this ceremony could still be useful if it confirmed their – oh, no, it’s a blackout, actually. Womp womp.

And that’s why Edamura probably found Rom kind of broody during the post-ceremony catherd. Rom had had both of his top two matches (guessed under his cynical calculus) basically eliminated and had no idea where to go from there. Going unchosen thus far had only bolstered in his mind that he had to continue approaching the game as an outsider, but it had also been largely fruitless thus far, and he was starting to run low on viable options. Not a good position to be in!

It’s against that rather bleak backdrop that Rom ended up having a lot of shockingly meaningful interactions with Edamura in week 3 – all things that, on their own, might not have been groundbreaking, but in combination really punched through those mental walls of his, especially since they happened when he was feeling kind of lost. Again, here, the fact that these moments were interwoven between playful banter helped Rom digest them without feeling like he was being ‘compromised’ or ‘not playing his role,’ even as he was forced to deal with matters sincerely. But, just things like …

Edamura listened to his explanation about what it’s like to have spiritual vision, and while he was aghast at it, he didn’t treat Rom any differently afterwards – no aversion or pity or disgust. The sort of reaction that Rom knows better than to expect from normal people, because that sort of hard disconnect from ‘normalcy’ is something that most people can’t digest, but Edamura was empathetic and open-minded enough to manage it. Then came Edamura’s confession of his job during the arcade date. (Sorry, skipping to this because on Rom’s end, giving Edamura the omamori was just part of his duty and thus not worth a second thought ekfjnwlefk). The fact that Edamura would trust him – someone actively pretending to be sleazy and suspicious – felt really special, and also established a faint commonality between them as being used to ‘playing roles.’ There was also something intimate about getting to know more about the sides that Edamura usually kept hidden – an unexpected boldness, a thirst for excitement, a surprisingly sly and conniving side when necessary. Even past the enticing, naughty feeling that comes from getting to see someone’s hidden side, Rom really admired that about Edamura, that he really was far more than the everyman he usually presented himself as, someone willing to deviate from the mold of being ‘a normal contributing member of society.’ And then their little discussion at the hot springs, with Edamura voluntarily wanting to help with his work even while knowing the risks – even if Rom would hesitate to actually let that happen, the sentiment alone was extremely novel and charming, simply because he’d always imagined himself working alone. Not to mention the intimacy of Edamura asking to see his hidden eye and still not balking at the sight of it, only showing concern for him. All little things that built up over the days, painting Edamura as a deeply caring and kind person, who he could trust, but wouldn’t pity him or treat him as something different.

Rom’s complete inexperience with romance meant it would’ve been impossible for him to put a word to what he was feeling, but he sure was feeling some sort of way about Edamura by the time the third match ceremony was looming over them.

This was deeply scary for him! Having to deal with actual feelings is fucking scary, as it turns out! You see, while this was going on, Rom had already had a very data-ful date discussion with Ringo about his most likely matches, and a very reasonable conclusion had been offered there: his most likely matches were Edamura, Yi Sang or Luka. And while Rom did immediately clock onto who he kind of wanted it to be … he also didn’t think it would be plausible. To think that Edamura – fussy and anxious, yes, but empathetic and friendly, who seemed to get along with just about everyone – would be matched with him felt like a blatant contradiction to his ‘roles’ approach to the game thus far. It’d be too convenient, too good to be true. Thus, he actually tried to convince himself (and Ringo) otherwise – that his commonality with Yi Sang as a fellow Fucking Weirdo (sorry Yi Sang), or with Luka as a beauty-and-the-beast type role-mismatch between fellow insincere performers, would make them more likely matches than Edamura.

Of course, in the end, when Ringo seemed deeply convinced (data-wise) that Edamura was his match, Rom did buckle and decide to take that thought to him during the pre-ceremony catherd. But to be honest – he was actually pretty scared then. A lifetime of playing calm in front of ghosts means Rom always fakes some level of casual and calm by reflex, but he was genuinely pretty anxious in going to talk to Edamura at that moment. It’s not even that he thought being deemed a ‘perfect match’ by the game would mean anything for them deeply? It was all just a part of the game? It wouldn’t have really meant anything if Edamura decided to say no to him, that he thought someone else would be a better match? But still … Canonically, Rom’s ultimately an extremely soft-hearted and altruistic guy under his creepy presentation. I have a hard time thinking he’d be able to completely divorce his emotions from the process of choosing and being chosen for the game. And especially because Edamura was a unique instance of a normal person he’d allowed close and connected to, the prospect of being told ‘no, I don’t think there’s anything between us’ was pretty nerve-wracking, even as he prepared himself for it. That’s why, when he approached Edamura pre-ceremony and broached the subject of them being a statistical match, he talked about it in an especially clipped and data-driven manner: to give himself the excuse that he was only speaking in terms of numbers, and to couch the matter in a way that he could accept whatever the response might be.

In his mind, the worst case scenario was being told no, and he’d deal with that one way or another. The best case scenario would be Edamura saying ‘sure, that sounds right.’ He never even considered the possibility of Edamura wanting to be the one to choose him.

Rom ended up playing it off pretty casually with just an ‘are you sure?’ but that was actually a pretty loaded question for him – asking at once ‘are you sure that’s the right course of action?’ as well as ‘are you sure you want that?’ I think no matter how much Rom accepts himself as an anomaly that has to be distanced from people, and even plays himself up as a freak for his Schemes, he’s still human in the end – he wants to feel wanted. Especially since he’s experienced pretty brutal abandonment before. So for better or for worse, there was a selfish element to him saying he wanted Edamura to be the one to go up on stage first – he did want to encourage Edamura’s resolve, of course, but he also wanted to bask in that feeling for himself for even a little bit longer. Though honestly, I think after their conversation, it wouldn’t have even mattered to him that much if he ended up being chosen to go first; just seeing Edamura so happy while talking about it, and wanting to do it meant the world to him.

Then everything did work out! I think for Rom, the whole ceremony ended up being a bit of a fever dream – from Edamura actually choosing him, to the sweet things he said, to holding hands while locking in, to the fact that the lights seemed to confirm them as a plausible match … it was all almost too much for him to process. And while Rom wouldn’t be able to use the L-word for a little longer, this is definitely when he properly fell in love with Edamura.

For the record, it’s not that he would have fallen for anyone who happened to choose him. He would have been moderately happy with the sensation, yes, but ‘being chosen’ alone wouldn’t have shaken up his emotions so much. What was special was ‘being chosen’ by someone he already felt so positively towards, who hadn’t balked away despite seeing so much of the ugliness he’s entangled with, who was a genuinely trustworthy person. There was a truly unique synergy between the slow build-up of their relationship and the explosive euphoria of the match ceremony – it’s like everything had a chance to build up like the pressure in a champagne bottle, and then Edamura choosing him popped the metaphorical cork. For Rom, it was just such a perfect encapsulation of Edamura’s empathy and understanding, his kindness, his ability to be proactive and decisive when it matters, the trust they’d managed to build up despite their respectively cagey natures … and finally, the fact that maybe Edamura does like him back. How could he not love the guy.

[phenomerom]

A lot of week 4 ended up being Rom coasting on that emotional high, as a result. Exploring new territory and coming to terms with the dizzying realization that hey, maybe they have a genuine connection of sorts? This person who he really likes, who accepts him, actually likes him back? Insane. It’s kind of why Rom was so content with doing whatever would make Edamura happy – all that really mattered to him was getting to spend time together, and basking in the knowledge that Edamura also seemed to want that companionship. A reality he could have never imagined for himself going into the game, and yet there they were, even venturing into the BBR. (I’m still backtagging that slowly, but please know that in my heart Rom dozed off afterwards while clutching at Edamura like a hug pillow, and it’s rare for him to voluntarily sleep around other people …. Sorry if he had to be woken up, and so they were slow to make their exit, thus getting them caught by others in the estate, tehe!)

Even more than their little excursion into the BBR, it’s probably Edamura’s mention of them being ‘lovers’ that gave Rom a lot of food for thought. It’s not like he’d thought Edamura would heartlessly cut contact with him once the game was over, but … he also presumed that his life would mostly go back to normal afterwards. They both had jobs to return to, and it was only circumstances within the game that had brought them together. His time at AYTO would be a fondly cherished memory, certainly, but he also sort of passively assumed it wouldn’t become much more than that. Edamura being brave enough to first float that word – ‘lovers’ – is what signaled to Rom that he was allowed to consider their little … thing … as something he could look forward to in the future. Which … was such a strange notion to him.

Rom, I think, isn’t really the type of guy to think about his future much beyond immediate business and job prospects. And while he did, for a long time, have a singular long-term goal in mind, that was avenging Towako’s death … which he actually did get to complete shortly before entering AYTO. Which means he would’ve been left pretty aimless in the large scheme of things, just immersing himself back into his job, until Edamura floated the prospect of them being ‘lovers.' Which just opened up a whole new world for him? Something new that he could look forward to in the long run, something joyful instead of vengeful, something that he’d never thought possible for himself. New, wild, exciting. Rom said he’d ‘try,’ and while I do think a part of his word choice was due to uncertainty about his ability to live up to expectations, in his mind there’s also a positive aspect to ‘trying’ – a sort of forward momentum, the drive to make things better, a goal to attain. He wants to do it right, he wants to make Edamura happy, he wants to make sure Edamura doesn’t regret the choices he made! Rom’s a hard worker, and having that goal to work at really gives him a sense of fulfillment, and doubly so if the goal is to be good to the person who gave him so much.

In summation, as they depart from the game, Rom just … god, he fucking loves Edamura, okay. He genuinely does. I think, even if he’s the type who wouldn’t actually be able to drop an ‘I love you’ for another few months minimum (sorry Edamura ……), it’d come through in bits and pieces in his attitude and actions. Like, Rom isn’t very good at communicating sincere thoughts through texts and such, but I sure hope Edamura is prepared for Rom to show up to his world without warning when Edamura’s con job is winding down so they can spend some time together.

I think for Rom, he wouldn’t think that they were fated to be or anything. He’d be extremely aware that their relationship was able to take off only because the circumstances were just right. If they’d met under any other circumstances, there probably would have been nothing between them; it was only the cast at AYTO and the supernatural occurrences that meant Edamura believed in him instead of writing him off as a third-rate conman, and conversely, Rom believes that if it was any other normie that had been in Edamura’s place, they might have hit it off to some extent, but that explosive spark between them only occurred because it was Edamura, because of Edamura’s deep empathy and sincerity. But is it really so bad that their relationship only happened because of lucky chance? For Rom, that just means he’s exponentially more grateful that the stars aligned to grant him this happiness he never would have pursued for himself.

Anyway, hey, did I ever mention that Rom’s creed of dedicating himself to helping people is mostly just because Towako offered him that helping hand and rescued him when he was little? Which is to say – when someone influences him, he takes it very much to heart. So I hope Edamura is ready for Rom to properly dedicate himself to what he said: he’s really going to try his damndest to make things work for them as ‘lovers.’ Which isn’t to say that I think it’s going to only be smooth sailing for them. I definitely see them as the type to have a slightly rocky time settling into things and needing a while to find a good equilibrium, given both of them working unconventional jobs and not being very experienced with this relationship thing. Rom sure is going to cause his share of troubles, given his bad habit of keeping secrets even from the people closest to him (his long-suffering Master …) and his reckless attitude of wading into dangerous situations on his own. But I think … given he knows how genuine and empathetic and actually caring Edamura is, Rom will try to do better and change, even if it’s slowly and a little bit at a time. He’d want to be more careful so Edamura doesn’t have to be in danger by association, and try to communicate a little better so Edamura isn’t as stressed, and want to be in a good enough position that he can be there for if/whenever Edamura might need the helping hand. Edamura, just by virtue of being who he is and extending him that chance at a normal life, would really guide him into living a better life, and I think Rom would find so much fulfillment in that – this path towards a normal sort of happiness that he never thought possible for himself.

I think it speaks a lot to their compatibility that it’s sooooo easy for me to imagine the shenanigans that the two of them can get up to in a post-AYTO future. Rom showing up when one of Laurent’s schemes are in the late stages and ending up helping out with a con. Edamura being introduced to Rom’s Master, and Rom dropping the news on her without warning that they’re boyfriends and almost giving her a heart attack. The two of them leading one of those ghost tours as Rom promised, but things going a little wrong and them needing to make things work on the fly, while keeping Rom’s fans in the dark the whole way through. And then going for drinks afterward so they can gripe and banter and laugh about who should have done what better, but also how they’re glad things worked out in the end. Going on little trips together between their hectic jobs so they can learn more about each other and just … be happy together. Etc. etc. It just makes me smile so widely to think about how well they’ve ended up meshing, how they ended up connecting right at the moment both of them were feeling kind of lost and aimless, and how their strengths and weaknesses slot together so well. They just …. hrgh, CLENCHES FIST. I think I believe in them, I think they can make it work.

I’d say Rom would die for Edamura, but honestly, that’s not as meaningful as saying that I think Rom would want to live for Edamura. Rom’s not a deathseeker, but he takes on all risks solo and doesn’t take very good care of himself, and before his AYTO run, he had genuinely resigned himself to death before things just happened to work out to save his hide. But after AYTO, after finding this new long-term goal of wanting to making sure Edamura doesn’t regret the choice he made, I think he won’t be so quick to resign himself again. He’d fight more fiercely to try and stay alive, because he wants to spend that time at Edamura’s side and see him happy. That’s how much Edamura means to him.

I cannot believe how fucking long this got aaaaaa don’t look at the word count just know that these two clowns mean SO MUCH to me okay, I had a lot of Thoughts ……… holds them gently together