tl;cr meme

[marriagebroker]

post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.

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[poans]

OUR POETREES . . .

From the top: She found him when he was looking at his reflection in the pond, pondering on how he was nothing. This was depicted by how every time the reflection distorted from a falling petal and rippled back into shape, he was reminded of his tenuous grip on himself due to the metaphorical void in his chest. He lacked substance, and his thoughts were getting tangled among themselves when Yingying's reflection appeared and put a halt to the spiral.

Because of his recent departure from N Corp., where he left barefooted and walked for hours in the rain before coming onto the set, his gaze was immediately drawn to her bare feet. He wondered if they hurt, too, and whether she didn't have shoes or simply chose to go without. It was a fleeting, yet meaningful thought that lingered on his mind at a familiar sight. Small things like this were a point of connection that made him feel closer to other players in his time at the game; sentimental as he is, he never fully forgot those observations once they were made.

This thread actually started off with the thing he's most exhausted by, which was . . . a misunderstanding! When she didn't follow his vague question right away, he went with it instead like nothing was off. Had he the capacity to care, he might have felt a modicum of relief when she took the time to clear it up. Having said that, Yi Sang was quicker to open up in the game than in canon as the result of one key distinction: He wasn't immortal. At this juncture, his greatest personal nightmare would have been to struggle with no end in sight. Becoming a creature of attrition by way of Dante's power was the equivalent of this nightmare unfolding for him. As this had yet to happen in the game, he still held onto a sliver of hope, no matter how dismal his chances, of finding a new home. Consequently, he warmed up to Yingying considerably faster than he might have later down in early canon.

(In the survey, I put down "to regain his lost wings" as his greatest wish, but this was technically false. He didn't believe he could get them back. At the same time, more than anything, he wanted to fly again. Logically, that would mean regaining what was lost, and for a moment he toyed with this thought for the game's wish, only to soon write it off as an impossibility, which he would go on to iterate to Yingying during the first rager. Thus, he settled for walking toward a new home instead as that was more within the realm of reality, no matter how unlikely.)

In any case, Yi Sang had read the profiles and committed the details to memory, so he recognized Yingying as the Wisteria Fairy, and did what was customary in polite conversation by asking questions relating to her. Etiquette gave way to a slight stir upon her demonstration of the blooming wisteria petals, and, as hope was such a precious thing to him then, he was taken by her power and her answer. Whether or not she could truly grant wishes, she and the tree had provided the comfort of having one's hopes acknowledged in their homeland, and that meant something.

While the two of them were clearly different, there was a familiarity in her words when she spoke of living elsewhere and yearning for what remained in the past. Yi Sang wasn't actively seeking the past, which he saw as an unachievable feat, and, because he had barely shuffled forward, he was more or less stuck in place at the estate; however, even moving from S Corp. to T Corp., it had been said that he greatly missed things like rice and color, which T Corp. denies of its residents. Due to his inertia, Yingying's words about going forward being the only way stuck with him, and this was where his initial impressions of her took root. She seemed to have it together, to know of a way that he didn't, so he took her up on her offer, albeit with deliberate wording on his end: If the aim is to move forward, then I shall listen to your tales of this fete, and the customs once held in them was entirely focused on her. He never promised to move forward himself. He saw in her something he'd like for himself, and if he could help her achieve that, then there could be hope. He wanted change, but was still lost and skeptical where his future was concerned. This was why his brackets said things like while he isn't pleased, this smile suits Yingying: It was simply nice to see her glow while he fumbled in the dark, hence his suggestion that one day she could watch the stars with everyone at the manor after sunset without explicitly putting himself in the picture.

They met again at spin the bottle, where she teased him and he took most of her remarks literally. As far as he was concerned, he was just playing along with the game's rules. Yi Sang, for the most part, took things as they were said unless the context was abstract, and this led to the most instances of his social clumsiness. Some implications and cues went right over his head, as she'd come to know! Nevertheless, this was a thread of particular import as this was where she laid down the foundations for when he'd reciprocate her feelings two weeks later. She impressed that you're mine was a profession of love, and gave him her lips with the kiss. In other words, the kiss was something for him to have, and this stirred immense sentimentality in him. While she was objectively cool, he was subconsciously desperate to hold onto her warmth that passed through him, but, like everything else, her words and the kiss fell through the void in his chest. For an astonishing moment, the world was a little less empty as the fragrance of flowers came and went. This was the seedbed for colorless flower, which was brought up in a few threads down the line, and it always circled back to the League's explosion: He'd been told that a colorless fire resembles a flower from a distance, and from there flowers in bloom had become synonymous to a grave. And so, his heart beat tentatively after the kiss, but, unable to regain its vitality, succumbed to bleeding instead. In that brief struggle, he managed to fluster when she teased him without room for misinterpretation. Once that time passed and the stimulation with it, he replied to her question about nerves with the answer that he was fine like always, returning to the status quo—though not entirely, as he'd grow an understanding for reciprocation by Maya's turn.

And then he was accused of crushing on her in front of everyone! The horror. The accusation itself wasn't a big deal; it was the fact that he had misled her that made him try to explain himself, except there was no good way to do so that wouldn't put Yingying out. He feared that she had actually taken offense when she pouted, and in apology admitted to the warmth he'd felt from her, which was especially pronounced when his time with Gubo was still fresh. His relationship with Gubo in contrast to what he shares with Yingying would crop up now and then, impressing that the former, from Yi Sang's understanding, coveted the value he could derive from him while the latter strove instead to nurture him. Yingying was like this by nature, as evidenced by her unwillingness to put their shier numbers through the first truth booth.

As you wish also made its first appearance here, giving words to his unvoiced intentions from their first meeting. After that, he became unhelpful in the ensuing discussion about naming players who held his interest, because Yi Sang is honestly pretty useless and prone to distraction when it comes to areas outside of his expertise.

Yingying's return from the failed truth booth was one of exhaustion. While Yi Sang observed this straightaway, he'd learn the reason as to why much later. At this time, he settled for listening to the discussion around him and heard her hopes that he'll choose her. She mentioned the commonality of discussing homelands and how he wanted to apologize, which he did, so he took to the suggestion. This is a trend seen even in the earliest section of canon: Down as he is, he still stirs out of his quietude to comfort a character who's being hard on herself for something beyond her control, and gradually speaks more the longer he's with the company. Without the setback of immortality here, he had already begun to loosen his tongue for the likes of Yingying and more.

Therefore, he toiled away to churn out the words for the ceremony. Because of his crowded mind and desire to apologize properly without complications, he devoted all of his free time to sifting through his thoughts on Yingying. He focused on her forward movement and how that attracted wanderers like him who were in search of that compass, stressing that there were blossoms before her, too, and not just behind. Flowers were the scent of graves, but they also bloomed with life. She was showing a path he hadn't noticed before, and he sought to honor that.

He hadn't expected the reception he got, and even gave himself pause after explaining that the words were his own, because it was a novel thought for a "taxidermied" being to bear thoughts that were more than nothing. What was more, Yingying wanted to hear the rest. She was happy with what he'd done, and it was such an encouragement that, in the face of her joy, he once again promised to do as she wished. Even though he didn't feel like he'd made particularly big strides, there was still some amount of shuffling, and that in the moment was a milestone.

Frankly, Yi Sang disliked the talk of ranking matches. It went against his inborn principles of seeing value in everything. There's a point in canon when everyone splits into two teams, and he refuses to choose sides, not even bothering to balance the lopsided numbers until he's told where to go, in equal parts out of his situational apathy and his natural reluctance. In line with this, he sidestepped Yingying's question by asking for her thoughts on their score, the answer to which vindicated his qualms. He didn't want to strip humanity into clinical science the way his misused technology had essentially done. It was a personal hang-up, and he was soothed by Yingying's view of how something could appear different depending on the time. This spoke for her openness and why she was willing to spare him a second glance for words that might never come. It wasn't just forward and backward movements like his explanation to Odile might have suggested. He thought Yingying looked in every direction imaginable and saw beauty in all angles. As someone who looks at mundane things like moldy potatoes and feels deeply, it was touching. And wasn't that the sentiment? She put herself close enough to touch, only for the white walls around him to prevent them from making true contact.

Having said that, he'd recalled what Maya had said to him early on: Windows are made of glass and are reflective, so I don't see why it couldn't also accurately reflect the person staring into your eyes! In the eyes of someone like Yingying, how would he appear? Would he be a fleeting nothing like the undying reflections in the pond, or something more? A subconscious desire lit in him, but it was only once she expressed her own want to see him that he raised his chin.

Looking into her eyes turned back to the clock to a time when there hadn't been a prominent void, and he had instead pursued the comfort of heat from twigs by setting them ablaze. Present day Yi Sang notes that humans instinctively seek warmth, even knowing when something can burn them. This was why he dreaded looking into people's eyes: He feared that the intensity of their glistening gazes would burn him, and so settled for seeping in their presence in the periphery, because, in his heart, Yi Sang craved to be with people. Here, he found that Yingying's eyes didn't burn; they were warm, inviting, and loving. There was color and his thoughts were a direct reference to when he'd discovered joy within Yeonsim upon meeting Sang Yi: his left-handed self, beautiful and serene. Yi Sang had created the mirror to reflect his dream of flying by connecting his heart with all manner of possibilities. (Incidentally, this is why his metaphorical wings are comprised of glass shards.) While there was neither Yeonsim nor Sang Yi present, here was Yingying and the window into her soul that offered him a glimpse of his own reflection in turn. It was a connection, if a brief one, and it was breathtaking in all the ways that mattered. This was probably the moment he would say in the future that he fell for Yingying, who unknowingly granted his most heartfelt wish.

Unfortunately, things went south from here. As an aside, Yi Sang had named Odile and Yingying as the two players who offered him most of a certain definition of ease, because they were the ones who modeled what he wanted on his journey. Someone like Shoko was a place of familiar comfort, but Yingying was an inspiration. When Odile emphasized that all of this, including everything he shared with Yingying, was transient, the implication that he'd be walking in circles on a journey without end where only despair awaited him caused his mind to spiral. He was reminded of Gubo's last words to him, and they made their mark again, hollowing out whatever he might have managed to tentatively pour into the void. While Yi Sang was disinclined to believe they'd been there at all, the small changes that had begun to take root were yanked out, and he found himself bleeding again. It didn't hurt, but the space around him felt emptier and colder, knowing that Yingying beside him was bound to fade away, so he did what Sang Yi had told him once to survive: Be still. Just be still, and do nothing more than breathe. For now, that's how you must live. You cannot fly. Shoko rushed in to do damage control, reminding him of how he'd described Yingying and Luka as luminous despite telling her in the next breath that everything had lost its luster. These statements still aligned with how he felt now—that things could gleam yet not appear so in the eyes of another—and the loveliness of the sentiment fell flat amid his newfound despair.

Believing that nothing to transpire in the game mattered anymore, he was pushed back against by Wei Wuxian, who admonished that he was being unfair to his match. Sapped of the will to fight, Yi Sang agreed to what he construed as a command not to inconvenience his fellow players and engaged them via dates. This was the closest he was to his early canon counterpart in terms of how deep the pit went.