tl;cr meme

[marriagebroker]

post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.

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[embellwish]

our poetree's.... heh.... see what i did there

1/3

[poans]

OUR POETREES . . .

From the top: She found him when he was looking at his reflection in the pond, pondering on how he was nothing. This was depicted by how every time the reflection distorted from a falling petal and rippled back into shape, he was reminded of his tenuous grip on himself due to the metaphorical void in his chest. He lacked substance, and his thoughts were getting tangled among themselves when Yingying's reflection appeared and put a halt to the spiral.

Because of his recent departure from N Corp., where he left barefooted and walked for hours in the rain before coming onto the set, his gaze was immediately drawn to her bare feet. He wondered if they hurt, too, and whether she didn't have shoes or simply chose to go without. It was a fleeting, yet meaningful thought that lingered on his mind at a familiar sight. Small things like this were a point of connection that made him feel closer to other players in his time at the game; sentimental as he is, he never fully forgot those observations once they were made.

This thread actually started off with the thing he's most exhausted by, which was . . . a misunderstanding! When she didn't follow his vague question right away, he went with it instead like nothing was off. Had he the capacity to care, he might have felt a modicum of relief when she took the time to clear it up. Having said that, Yi Sang was quicker to open up in the game than in canon as the result of one key distinction: He wasn't immortal. At this juncture, his greatest personal nightmare would have been to struggle with no end in sight. Becoming a creature of attrition by way of Dante's power was the equivalent of this nightmare unfolding for him. As this had yet to happen in the game, he still held onto a sliver of hope, no matter how dismal his chances, of finding a new home. Consequently, he warmed up to Yingying considerably faster than he might have later down in early canon.

(In the survey, I put down "to regain his lost wings" as his greatest wish, but this was technically false. He didn't believe he could get them back. At the same time, more than anything, he wanted to fly again. Logically, that would mean regaining what was lost, and for a moment he toyed with this thought for the game's wish, only to soon write it off as an impossibility, which he would go on to iterate to Yingying during the first rager. Thus, he settled for walking toward a new home instead as that was more within the realm of reality, no matter how unlikely.)

In any case, Yi Sang had read the profiles and committed the details to memory, so he recognized Yingying as the Wisteria Fairy, and did what was customary in polite conversation by asking questions relating to her. Etiquette gave way to a slight stir upon her demonstration of the blooming wisteria petals, and, as hope was such a precious thing to him then, he was taken by her power and her answer. Whether or not she could truly grant wishes, she and the tree had provided the comfort of having one's hopes acknowledged in their homeland, and that meant something.

While the two of them were clearly different, there was a familiarity in her words when she spoke of living elsewhere and yearning for what remained in the past. Yi Sang wasn't actively seeking the past, which he saw as an unachievable feat, and, because he had barely shuffled forward, he was more or less stuck in place at the estate; however, even moving from S Corp. to T Corp., it had been said that he greatly missed things like rice and color, which T Corp. denies of its residents. Due to his inertia, Yingying's words about going forward being the only way stuck with him, and this was where his initial impressions of her took root. She seemed to have it together, to know of a way that he didn't, so he took her up on her offer, albeit with deliberate wording on his end: If the aim is to move forward, then I shall listen to your tales of this fete, and the customs once held in them was entirely focused on her. He never promised to move forward himself. He saw in her something he'd like for himself, and if he could help her achieve that, then there could be hope. He wanted change, but was still lost and skeptical where his future was concerned. This was why his brackets said things like while he isn't pleased, this smile suits Yingying: It was simply nice to see her glow while he fumbled in the dark, hence his suggestion that one day she could watch the stars with everyone at the manor after sunset without explicitly putting himself in the picture.

They met again at spin the bottle, where she teased him and he took most of her remarks literally. As far as he was concerned, he was just playing along with the game's rules. Yi Sang, for the most part, took things as they were said unless the context was abstract, and this led to the most instances of his social clumsiness. Some implications and cues went right over his head, as she'd come to know! Nevertheless, this was a thread of particular import as this was where she laid down the foundations for when he'd reciprocate her feelings two weeks later. She impressed that you're mine was a profession of love, and gave him her lips with the kiss. In other words, the kiss was something for him to have, and this stirred immense sentimentality in him. While she was objectively cool, he was subconsciously desperate to hold onto her warmth that passed through him, but, like everything else, her words and the kiss fell through the void in his chest. For an astonishing moment, the world was a little less empty as the fragrance of flowers came and went. This was the seedbed for colorless flower, which was brought up in a few threads down the line, and it always circled back to the League's explosion: He'd been told that a colorless fire resembles a flower from a distance, and from there flowers in bloom had become synonymous to a grave. And so, his heart beat tentatively after the kiss, but, unable to regain its vitality, succumbed to bleeding instead. In that brief struggle, he managed to fluster when she teased him without room for misinterpretation. Once that time passed and the stimulation with it, he replied to her question about nerves with the answer that he was fine like always, returning to the status quo—though not entirely, as he'd grow an understanding for reciprocation by Maya's turn.

And then he was accused of crushing on her in front of everyone! The horror. The accusation itself wasn't a big deal; it was the fact that he had misled her that made him try to explain himself, except there was no good way to do so that wouldn't put Yingying out. He feared that she had actually taken offense when she pouted, and in apology admitted to the warmth he'd felt from her, which was especially pronounced when his time with Gubo was still fresh. His relationship with Gubo in contrast to what he shares with Yingying would crop up now and then, impressing that the former, from Yi Sang's understanding, coveted the value he could derive from him while the latter strove instead to nurture him. Yingying was like this by nature, as evidenced by her unwillingness to put their shier numbers through the first truth booth.

As you wish also made its first appearance here, giving words to his unvoiced intentions from their first meeting. After that, he became unhelpful in the ensuing discussion about naming players who held his interest, because Yi Sang is honestly pretty useless and prone to distraction when it comes to areas outside of his expertise.

Yingying's return from the failed truth booth was one of exhaustion. While Yi Sang observed this straightaway, he'd learn the reason as to why much later. At this time, he settled for listening to the discussion around him and heard her hopes that he'll choose her. She mentioned the commonality of discussing homelands and how he wanted to apologize, which he did, so he took to the suggestion. This is a trend seen even in the earliest section of canon: Down as he is, he still stirs out of his quietude to comfort a character who's being hard on herself for something beyond her control, and gradually speaks more the longer he's with the company. Without the setback of immortality here, he had already begun to loosen his tongue for the likes of Yingying and more.

Therefore, he toiled away to churn out the words for the ceremony. Because of his crowded mind and desire to apologize properly without complications, he devoted all of his free time to sifting through his thoughts on Yingying. He focused on her forward movement and how that attracted wanderers like him who were in search of that compass, stressing that there were blossoms before her, too, and not just behind. Flowers were the scent of graves, but they also bloomed with life. She was showing a path he hadn't noticed before, and he sought to honor that.

He hadn't expected the reception he got, and even gave himself pause after explaining that the words were his own, because it was a novel thought for a "taxidermied" being to bear thoughts that were more than nothing. What was more, Yingying wanted to hear the rest. She was happy with what he'd done, and it was such an encouragement that, in the face of her joy, he once again promised to do as she wished. Even though he didn't feel like he'd made particularly big strides, there was still some amount of shuffling, and that in the moment was a milestone.

Frankly, Yi Sang disliked the talk of ranking matches. It went against his inborn principles of seeing value in everything. There's a point in canon when everyone splits into two teams, and he refuses to choose sides, not even bothering to balance the lopsided numbers until he's told where to go, in equal parts out of his situational apathy and his natural reluctance. In line with this, he sidestepped Yingying's question by asking for her thoughts on their score, the answer to which vindicated his qualms. He didn't want to strip humanity into clinical science the way his misused technology had essentially done. It was a personal hang-up, and he was soothed by Yingying's view of how something could appear different depending on the time. This spoke for her openness and why she was willing to spare him a second glance for words that might never come. It wasn't just forward and backward movements like his explanation to Odile might have suggested. He thought Yingying looked in every direction imaginable and saw beauty in all angles. As someone who looks at mundane things like moldy potatoes and feels deeply, it was touching. And wasn't that the sentiment? She put herself close enough to touch, only for the white walls around him to prevent them from making true contact.

Having said that, he'd recalled what Maya had said to him early on: Windows are made of glass and are reflective, so I don't see why it couldn't also accurately reflect the person staring into your eyes! In the eyes of someone like Yingying, how would he appear? Would he be a fleeting nothing like the undying reflections in the pond, or something more? A subconscious desire lit in him, but it was only once she expressed her own want to see him that he raised his chin.

Looking into her eyes turned back to the clock to a time when there hadn't been a prominent void, and he had instead pursued the comfort of heat from twigs by setting them ablaze. Present day Yi Sang notes that humans instinctively seek warmth, even knowing when something can burn them. This was why he dreaded looking into people's eyes: He feared that the intensity of their glistening gazes would burn him, and so settled for seeping in their presence in the periphery, because, in his heart, Yi Sang craved to be with people. Here, he found that Yingying's eyes didn't burn; they were warm, inviting, and loving. There was color and his thoughts were a direct reference to when he'd discovered joy within Yeonsim upon meeting Sang Yi: his left-handed self, beautiful and serene. Yi Sang had created the mirror to reflect his dream of flying by connecting his heart with all manner of possibilities. (Incidentally, this is why his metaphorical wings are comprised of glass shards.) While there was neither Yeonsim nor Sang Yi present, here was Yingying and the window into her soul that offered him a glimpse of his own reflection in turn. It was a connection, if a brief one, and it was breathtaking in all the ways that mattered. This was probably the moment he would say in the future that he fell for Yingying, who unknowingly granted his most heartfelt wish.

Unfortunately, things went south from here. As an aside, Yi Sang had named Odile and Yingying as the two players who offered him most of a certain definition of ease, because they were the ones who modeled what he wanted on his journey. Someone like Shoko was a place of familiar comfort, but Yingying was an inspiration. When Odile emphasized that all of this, including everything he shared with Yingying, was transient, the implication that he'd be walking in circles on a journey without end where only despair awaited him caused his mind to spiral. He was reminded of Gubo's last words to him, and they made their mark again, hollowing out whatever he might have managed to tentatively pour into the void. While Yi Sang was disinclined to believe they'd been there at all, the small changes that had begun to take root were yanked out, and he found himself bleeding again. It didn't hurt, but the space around him felt emptier and colder, knowing that Yingying beside him was bound to fade away, so he did what Sang Yi had told him once to survive: Be still. Just be still, and do nothing more than breathe. For now, that's how you must live. You cannot fly. Shoko rushed in to do damage control, reminding him of how he'd described Yingying and Luka as luminous despite telling her in the next breath that everything had lost its luster. These statements still aligned with how he felt now—that things could gleam yet not appear so in the eyes of another—and the loveliness of the sentiment fell flat amid his newfound despair.

Believing that nothing to transpire in the game mattered anymore, he was pushed back against by Wei Wuxian, who admonished that he was being unfair to his match. Sapped of the will to fight, Yi Sang agreed to what he construed as a command not to inconvenience his fellow players and engaged them via dates. This was the closest he was to his early canon counterpart in terms of how deep the pit went.

[poans]

Now more presentable after going clothes shopping with Aventurine, he did put in the effort to clean up for everyone, including Yingying, regardless of the sudden rift he felt between them. Their exchange steered on the scholastic side for a bit, because it was easy and he genuinely enjoys giving explanations on various subjects. While he wasn't overly excited, that he was driven to spare more than a handful of words was proof enough of what this meant for him. After all, he's the type to lose himself in the hyperfixation of pursuing knowledge insofar that he forgets sleep and sustenance.

Then cropped up the topic of sending him off to a sweet dream. Despite her generous offer, he saw no reason for her to do that for him. He was fine, functional in that this had been his norm for some time. There was also no point in a good dream, of grasping something hopeful in a fantasy that would fade come morning. Yet her stance was curious, as she said that he could refuse. This was again in direct contrast to Gubo, who'd been exasperated and slung words meant to imbue him with guilt for being so uncooperative. Yi Sang knew he was troublesome as he was now, but Yingying didn't admonish him. She could have done anything to him. She could have forced him into a slumber, because, while I wrote in the permissions posts that he'd have mixed feelings about it due to his history with sedatives, it wouldn't have mattered in the end. Nothing did, so the line she drew at whether he really wanted to sleep or not made all the difference.

Maybe there wasn't a point, but he wanted change. He wanted to know what sort of dream he might have that could qualify it as sweet. He wanted to dream or, failing that, forfeit his life after the game as that would be easier. And while he could've said that there was no reason or particular thought behind his sudden willingness to hear her lullaby, her heartfelt ask of him from the ceremony propelled him to share that much. Consternation filled him with the admission. Would he be happy in the dream? Would he dream at all? And if he was happy, would it be due to a past vision of spicebush or the future by way of the fragrance of wisteria? He was wearily curious to know if the dream would impart unto him any wisdom. It was stated in his speech at the third ceremony, but he ultimately dreamed of the laughter of children who sought joy within each other. Rather than a place or something unknown, he relived his childhood, featuring his friends with whom he'd found happiness in spite of the City's looming cruelties. Over the course of his stay at the game, he would compound this with lessons from fellow players to learn that the place he craved could also lie in people, while removing Yingying from the pedestal as a cure-all and maintaining her personhood.

With that established, he ordered for her at her behest! He asked for something simple on his end due to lack of appetite, and then a dish more eye-catching for Yingying that carried his sentiment of something that might have been shared with companions at a fete. In talking about preferences, he didn't necessarily care for nothing as he has clear preferences like spoilt milk . . . ┌( ´_ゝ` )┐ and rice. He loves rice, so he shared that much in acknowledgment of Yingying's efforts to get something out of him. It was mostly that he didn't have a preference when it came to something he disliked. His two visitors at N Corp. had never cared: Gubo had kept asking, and Hermann had promised coercion in the event of his refusal before courtesy. That Yingying was putting some agency into his slothful hands was a meaningful gesture, and one that coaxed more cooperation out of him than those two. All things considered, the date ended on a mellow yet faintly hopeful note.

Then the ghosts visited. Yi Sang, who'd physically left his birdcage in N Corp., was far from thrilled to see Sang Yi unknowingly caught in an endless loop this time. Even if he himself wasn't, he wanted Sang Yi to be free, though he omitted many of the details of their shared story when asked by Yingying due to his still persistent, if slightly improved, depression. Once upon a time, Yi Sang had asked Sang Yi to turn away when he did after their talks, as reflections do; out of deference for Sang Yi's wishes that had led to his departure, Yi Sang similarly turned away when the apparition took its leave to focus instead on Yingying. After seeing Shoko and Yingying's ghosts, his misgivings fell away at the heartwarming sights, and he couldn't deny the good they did.

(Yi Sang didn't know, but every time Sang Yi's apparition stopped to greet someone with a smile, it was meant to be him on the other side.)

Yi Sang envied Sang Yi, believing that he couldn't be free like his left-handed self. Curiously, he remarks in a recollection of the time he'd told Sang Yi in a fit of despair that he had nothing but himself, I was the one who said this was all that I had, so why did you make such a devastated expression as though you lost everything? Yi Sang's understanding of Sang Yi was distorted by his own biases, but in this moment, hearing about Yingying's grief and her state of being lost, he thought he could understand what Sang Yi had felt. Now that he knew she was struggling in ways he hadn't noticed, he was forced to reevaluate his previous impression of her and deconstruct his notions of her ideal path. The devastation he felt on her behalf was gutting, because he didn't want that for her. This was where his understanding of people matured some more, and he set aside his own troubles to focus on her peace of mind. Although he didn't know if this was the correct course of action, he knew that he didn't want her to hurt any more than she already was and chose to spend the rest of the night watching her mothers at her side.

During the next ceremony discussion, he was surprised that Yingying intended to choose him. Not many had seemed to believe in their match a week prior, but she was still decisive after another week to decide who might be her proposed destined partner according to an unknown algorithm. He was uncertain of what he offered her when there were so many brighter players among them, and in his lack of confidence was a poor conversationalist. Still, he managed to communicate that the experience of being chosen by her would never be comparable to another like it, for that moment would be theirs and theirs alone.

Yi Sang is observant and perceptive. Because of his despondency, it was habit to sit on his inferences and neither voice nor act on them unless asked. By the rager, he'd noticed peculiarities in Yingying's hours and locations, especially after seeing the wisteria in its barren state at least once as a night owl. He might have even seen it during his one thread with Nico out in the gardens. All that to say, he suspected there was some sort of a connection between Yingying and the wisteria that went deeper than guardianship. When he saw the latter again that night, he was deeply moved by its resilience and took his seat beneath its meager blooms, banking on the hypothesis that Yingying would emerge at some point. Just as she'd received him when he roused from the sweet dream of Dongrang and Dongbaek, he wanted to greet her in kind.

He was completely sincere when he told her that the wisteria was the most inviting thing in the gardens. It was fighting to survive, and that was a comfort and an inspiration in one as someone struggling to do the same. This, however, was the first time Yingying seemed to doubt his words, and her pushback took him back enough that he apologized, confused and uncertain. He tried again, which could perhaps have been considered a feat in and of itself when his failure to convey the full breadth of his thoughts at the first ceremony had left him so demoralized that he'd all but given up. For Yingying, he confessed to the raw beauty he saw in the tree and was rewarded with knowledge of her true connection to it.

[S]hock felt like a cheap summation of everything she'd gone through, so he was disinclined to agree with her and said, instead, that it was a precious discovery as opposed to something grand. Grand suggested something exciting, a spectacle. Yingying's tale was not a scene from a play at which to gawk. She was a person with a heart, dreams, and pains of her own, and he paid homage to that.

Her talk about using the wish to change her fate was ambiguous enough that he asked after what she wanted, because it was what she'd always done for him and he was increasingly beginning to wonder if she was clear on her own desires. Then came the bombshell: I just keep thinking . . . what would be the point? This was an earthshattering revelation to Yi Sang, who had asked and continued to still ask himself that question many a time. He knew exactly how much lonelier it would feel to walk out on the final vestiges of what remained. Strained though his relationship with Gubo had been, the stars still darkened once he left him. Yingying's fears were thus wholly founded and, in that moment, he could truly see her. It was a time of heartbreak, filled with despair and the question of whether anything awaited at the end of the road for either of them.

He confessed to his own concerns once she turned the subject of wishes around on him, and that he hadn't a clue on how to utilize the prize were he to earn it. Yi Sang was here for a wish, but not the wish. He'd lost interest in the prize after the initial consideration of his wings, and was more invested in what the premise of the game might do for him on his journey. Still, the commonality he just discovered in Yingying drove him to cobble together his stray thoughts and tell her about his true wish of flying, which was nothing more than that—a wishful thought.

Yi Sang was a bit misguided. Because he'd been so happy during the League's peak, he placed all stocks in the League itself. He thought that that place and, by extension, technology had been the roots of his happiness, and now believed that he was pathetically stroking the joints where wings used to be by clinging to research. As the League could never be again, he was resigned to walking and never taking flight, uncertain if there was a way for him to be free without his wings. He longed to believe there was, especially if it meant that Yingying, too, could follow that faint thread. It marked a subtle shift in how he regarded their respective walks: A part of him might have been envious of Yingying at first, but now, seeing that she was much closer than he'd thought, protectiveness settled in its place.

Still, there was a fundamental difference that set them apart. He saw lack where she saw potential, and therein lay the allure: Regardless of her place on their intersecting paths, it was a fragrance of hope, wherever and whatever that might be.

Her poeticism spoke to his heart at the ceremony. Although perhaps not in the way she'd intended, he interpreted her words with another kind of romanticism. Autumn was symbolic of the passage of time, but it also represented abundance, and that went on to help him with reframing in the future. He couldn't say that he'd effect much in the way of a bounty, but he wanted to persist in his meaningless existence, if only to see the spring come and what it would bring. There was a flitter indicative of the remnants of his wings. Was it a futile struggle to go on like the flightless chickens Sang Yi had spoken of, or was it a flutter of something more alive? His feelings were beginning to grow stronger where Yingying was concerned, and he responded to what he could, which was her wish that he stay. He agreed to remain at her side as long as she wanted, ignorant of her honest intentions. The love he harbored for her at this point was rooted in deep sentimentality that encompassed and went beyond romantic love. The juxtaposition of himself as autumn and her as spring also created a poetic connection between them, inexplicably tying their futures together; consequently, if she moved, then so would he—hence, the flutter. It was hope.

He was truly baffled by her laughter, because he didn't think he was being funny, but it was good to see her happy. He pledged to be there until she bloomed again to address her fear of isolation. As for her more ardent feelings, Yi Sang's growth of looking at others before himself hindered him from sorting through his own heart for the longest time, which was why it took him as long as it did to get his act together.

For a researcher, failure was but a shadow amid countless trials and errors to arrive at an answer. To that end, the blackout didn't bother him in the slightest, nor did it dampen the connection between him and Yingying. It wasn't as if anyone knew the criteria for the matches, anyway, which was why he gave such a clinical assessment of himself in the ensuing discussion. Yingying was clever with her words and challenged his evaluation. He could almost never express himself as desired with the necessary expediency, but that was for the best in order to introduce more humanity into his self-effacing stance.

Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, had concerns. He probed Yi Sang on the latter's disappointment with the ceremony, except Yi Sand had none to impart when he had no grievance with the outcome. Wei Wuxian had been calling this a game since the beginning, and they were players participating to win for some kind of gain. As Yingying's importance to him went so far beyond the boundaries of the game, he simply cherished the moments they shared by the wisteria. In doing so, he was thinking less and less about their inevitable separation. He described her as a kindred spirit and his hopes to see her fully bloom without the need for illusions. While he failed to grasp the notion of romantic love, the thought did niggle at his mind over the course of the third week as more and more characters started remarking on their relationship.

Their date that week was his putting in more effort to grant Yingying's wish of honoring the memory of the fete by choosing stalls based on what she'd told him about her village's customs. Yi Sang prefers the quiet if he can help it, but a festive environment wasn't bad at all. Unfortunately, his naivety on the streets reared its innocent head here: In spite of his background as one of the commonfolk, as it were, he'd always been something of a recluse where he'd devote all of his time to his fellows and his hobbies outside of work. He hadn't lingered in the streets long enough for interactions like these, having earned enough so as not to be hindered by price after emigrating to T Corp. from S Corp., where the economy is considerably worse off and inapplicable to a healthier market.

To break down his answer about where he's from, District 19 is his homeland in the City. After leaving with his compatriots to escape the rampant corruption and inaction on the administration's end, he found work in the Nest of T Corp. where the elites and upper class live. Then, once things snowballed out of control at T Corp., he was taken to an N Corp. facility, which he left shortly before the game. Yi Sang's experiences have been such that he has lost two, if not three, homes: his place of birth, the League, and even the white square with Gubo, who'd been his final tether to the past. With each relocation, he'd lost precious people and things to where he was now left with nothing. Ultimately, he'd even left Sang Yi behind in search of something more.

[poans]

It wasn't important. All of that paled next to Yingying's proffered payment of a sachet for a much needed discount. He was instantly curious and, though at first somewhat contrite over what she'd given up, upon explanation found that it would be a good thing for the sachet to travel these parts. After all, Yingying's goal was to keep the memory of the fete alive. She was making the most of the now, though it made him wonder about the future again. Yingying was, in her own way, struggling like a flightless chicken as the Wisteria Fairy without a village to bless. This isn't as nihilistic as it sounds despite his sentiments at the second ceremony, as Yi Sang becomes cross with Dongrang for cutting the wings off of chickens and robbing them of the ability to fly before they can realize it in canon.

Incidentally, the flower bracelet balloon was so poorly made that one must give Yingying props for taking it with such appreciation. Of course, when she teased him about wanting to get on everyone's good side, his earnest reply was that he intended for the balloons to be gifts. There was yet to be any particular desire for reciprocation, not until the hot springs, where he was both more reactive and proactive after realizing from his date with Odile that he could, in fact, have his wings.

There, Yi Sang stuttered more and was generally emotional in his responses to where he looked off in embarrassment at Yingying's teasing of his genuinely mortifying secret. Later, he would take time to dwell on the subject of Dongrang, and how he fumbled a pivotal moment between them before the League's dissolution. In the moment itself, he readily took to the suggestion of finding Yingying's card through the process of elimination. He narrowed his options down to two, which ironically happened to be Yingying and Odile's secrets. Imagine that! Upon learning about her energy-related needs, he thought that perhaps her tactility up to now had been related to this, but corrected himself when she shot his unspoken offer down. Her concern for his rested state meant she couldn't have been siphoning energy from unknowing players, and this only fueled his desire to give even more; however, he respected that she was looking after herself, though he did push back on the idea that anyone would find keeping her company exhausting. She was well-liked and had friends all around them. In the end, he deferred to her choices and headed to the wisteria once she vanished. Yi Sang's giving love languages are acts of service and gifts, but, as quality time is something he greatly prizes, he also ends up giving it as a byproduct, which worked out in their favor.

While Yi Sang chose Odile for the ceremony and vice versa, his words, like hers, were meant for the players at large. He had learned to smile again and used this opportunity to relay his gratitude to everyone, including Yingying. Although he hadn't dreamed about her like she'd teased, he mentioned the broken branch he might have played with friends as a boy in tribute to her. Odile's poetic exercises had been instrumental in his acceptance of a brighter future, but the dream Yingying had bestowed unto him had guided his slantwise gaze to another source of abundance. Without Yingying's influence, he would have been hard-pressed to reflect on this and realize where he'd previously erred in his relations with people. He grasped now that despair, though inevitable, must be met with unchanging resilience like the wisteria's blooms and the reflection of the moon in the pond. What a change from his grim view of his own reflection on the water's surface a few weeks prior, no? Through Yingying, he'd grown his empathy and the understanding between two like spirits, hence soar[ing] by their side. Yi Sang had still yet to decide on what path he should embark on, but his resolve was decided on how he would greet that future, and Yingying deserved a lion's share of the credit for that leap of faith.

After all the comments that had been made about him and Yingying throughout the week, to say nothing of Aventurine's inebriated intervention where he'd relayed Yingying's romantic intentions, Yi Sang dared to approach her in the subsequent discussion. Unsure of the verity of Aventurine's remarks, he nevertheless chose to investigate than leave things to fester as he had previously done. And so, he asked to speak by the wisteria where her physical body sat, because, while he didn't necessarily view the illusion as something fake, he wanted to see all of her in this moment. (Incidentally, the distinction between want and wish became all the more pronounced at this stage. All along, want was something within the realm of possibility while a wish was fanciful. His fixation with granting Yingying's wishes, no matter how small or big, was born out of the want to reduce such a gap for her.) One might have even argued that it was less of a want and more of a necessity, which was why he refused to bend with the gentle breeze when granted her grace for his blindness.

He launched straight into addressing the potential rift without preamble before it could grow and cause harm. Yingying, true to herself, downplayed the significance of her heart when she responded to the unspoken with total understanding. Yi Sang realized then that he had wronged Yingying, and revisited all of his exchanges with her and others on the spot. His sin was never looking directly at the heart of a matter, which meant his vision was always blurred in some way and caused him to miss what had been right in front of him all along. Now able to see the recent past with more clarity, he understood the many implications that had been uttered his way, including that of Luka's. So he took the active approach and apologized, as it was the right thing to do, and because he was also deeply chagrined by his inattention after all that she'd given him.

At this point, Yi Sang still struggled to comprehend what sort of affection he held for Yingying. All he knew was that Yingying "like-liked" him, and that Wei Wuxian suspected similarly from his end. For someone who'd never thought in such terms before and preferred to have all the pieces before making a decision, he couldn't speak with confidence. Fond, however, was a word he understood. It was a precious feeling entrenched in the sentimentality so intrinsic to him that he grasped it straightaway once Yingying used it. Then the feeling that had been growing in his taxidermied body must have been love.

His confidence swelled in that familiarity, and he returned her feelings as he gave himself to her with a kiss. Reciprocating everything she'd shyly passed his way up to this very moment, he spoke as the autumn to her spring. He beckoned at the future and asked what she wanted of him with fully open ears and no biased lenses. The luster once thought lost returned and the world became impossibly bright through their unfiltered connection. With the white walls down, the air cleared and a sheer burst of colors accompanied the unmistakable feeling of being alive as the fragrance of her blooms sprouted in his slowly closing void. With that, his heart was finally hers.

From that point onward, he became more outspoken and doting around Yingying, though he was still a bit confused by her insistence that he resembled Eeyore. Is that really how he looks to others . . . He might have been self-conscious about it, but at least the sentiment seemed to be a sweet one. For her sake, he also tried to rest more and, in fact, enjoyed a better quality of sleep from how contented he was. If he struggles to sleep nowadays, it's because of the sheer excitement for what lies ahead. He was still a touch shy in the sense that so much of this was new to him, but he truly wanted to do his earnest best for Yingying. To that end, he shared what was on his mind more readily and went out of his way to find a headband for her. Yi Sang had missed colors back when he resided at T Corp., especially those of the sky, but things were more vibrant than ever with the fog of depression lifted. Wanting to admire Yingying in all her radiance and floral glory, he was determined to spend each waking moment without regrets. Theirs was a mutual discovery of her wanting to see all sides of him and his, to walk alongside her as opposed to wandering after or glancing at her out of his periphery. It was, by his reckoning, an ideal arrangement. His feet ached in the aftermath of their date, but, rather than tired like he'd been upon arriving on the set, he was very happy.

In order to honor his vow of transparency with Yingying, he shared what details he could about his stint at N Corp. once the summary of it came to light. This was a time of contrition for Yi Sang, who'd never wanted his playthings to be abused for unscrupulous practices. Dismayed by her very kind image of him, he confessed to his share of morally reprehensible deeds that survival in the City mandated, which weighed heavily on him for going against his faint-hearted nature. While he understood that Yingying also had a colored history—the tales of which he'll patiently and eagerly await to hear in the days to come—he didn't wish for misunderstandings to arise and admitted to his fits of sloth and apathy. As ever, she responded with empathy and acknowledged the positives while he dwelled on the negatives. She was grateful for the path he'd taken to come here, and so was he. As stated in the brackets, he'd been prepared to die before finding what he sought. A part of him had wanted to die, so much so that if Luka had strangled him on the first day, he would have welcomed death without resistance. But he persisted, if with shambling steps, and doing so led him to his precious fellows at the game, regardless of their opinions of him. Even now, he's fully of the belief that they saved his life.

Given the opportunity, he asked if he could accompany Yingying, so that he might continue to share in forward discovery with her. His one caveat was that someday he would have to revisit the City in order to address his old colleagues and the potential effects of his technology running amok under N Corp.'s supervision, which he couldn't discuss aloud on set. The estate had been peaceful in ways he'd rarely known in his world, and he has no intentions of dragging Yingying into that mess unless she'd like to accompany him of her own will. When she brought up Odile, he was quite honestly over the moon at the idea of spending more time with both of them. Odile is precious to him, too, but what really sparked joy for him was how Yingying had decided on a wish for herself by hoping to retrieve her body. Regardless of its potential state, he knew it would be beautiful for the simple fact that her essence would remain the same, though he did mourn the illusion as an extension of her.

Like a true Wisteria Fairy, she brought attention to his own wish, which was in flux at this juncture. He was still deciding if he should use it for himself with regard to his business at the City, which he thought he should perhaps tackle on his own power, or simply hand it off to a fellow in need, because his truest wishes—to find connection and to fly—had already come true. She, as well as the others, had helped them come true. So now was the time for her wish, such that he asked if he could help with the making of a sachet to bless her heartfelt desire. Knowing that she'd once made them with her mothers, he thought there should be at least one that treasured her wish on their behalf.

As sweet as all of this was, there was a slight tension in the air after the mixed reception to the voice-over of everyone's secrets. He was thankful for the fireworks requested of Wei Wuxian by Yingying, and did his part in setting them off to diffuse some of that awkwardness. While many of his thoughts on previous relationships heretofore were centered on Gubo and Dongrang, this moment was exclusively devoted to Dongbaek, who loved fireworks as they reminded her of the stars and flowers in their hometown. With this, Yi Sang was able to revisit the past and overlay some of his lingering grief with a newfound warmth, while also strengthening his conviction to track them down in the near future.

Now that he knew how to gaze upon her heart, he actually understood what Yingying was trying to relay through song at the final celebration. Only, he was cautious to not make assumptions until she confirmed it herself, though he did take the initiative to grasp her by the fingers according to the lyrics. It was an unspoken promise to be there at her side and to hold her for as long as they were together. His touch dwelled here, in case the illusion he'd come to know and cherish would fade for good come morning with the rise of her flesh body.

When her wish was granted, so, too, was his for her since the start of the game. Yingying was free, and he was resolute not to look away for a second so that she might spy her reflection in his eyes. Remembering her mothers, he sealed his promises to her with a kiss. For Yi Sang, a kiss is a valuable expression—a deliverance of love, and this was why he was and still is willing to let her have as many as she wants in place of words. That she'd stay with him in turn filled his heart with even more abundance than once stated. Yi Sang knows that loss is inevitable, but that just makes this vow between them all the more precious. He's now looking forward to soaring and making all manner of discoveries with her. Yingying is the love of his life, and he'll happily toil away for her at the facility upon accompanying her to her world, fulfilled at last by a noble purpose.

NOW I'M FREE.