marriage broker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
marriagebroker) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
perfectmatch2025-06-29 10:17 am
marriagebroker) wrote in perfectmatch2025-06-29 10:17 am
Entry tags:
tl;cr meme
post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.
post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.
no subject
1/?
I'M SO SORRY
no subject
Most everyone in the house met Edamura during his most "tryhard" stage of the competition. . . i.e. that first week where he was using honorifics and trying to be super polite while pretending to be a hopeless romantic. But I think Rom maybe got to see the most of it in their very first conversation, especially when he introduced himself as "Enigma Syndrome" and Edamura was just like. Smiles thinly. Yeah okay. That's not weird at all!! And then just continued to maintain his OVERTLY POLITE persona even though that first interaction totally left him feeling SUPER uncertain. Fortunately! By the second time they talked at spin the bottle, Edamura was not trying nearly as hard (was a little grumpy that his entire worldview had JUST BEEN UPENDED BY A VAMPIRE), so Rom got to see a more genuine version of him: a little sulky, a little overemotional, a little quick to react. I think that conversation really set the tone for their interactions going forward too, what with Rom's digging and Edamura's snappy responses. It was definitely the first conversation where Edamura thought "THIS GUY. . . GETS ON MY NERVES!!"
AND YET, DESPITE THAT. . . the mere act of keeping Edamura company while he was sulking actually left a pretty positive impression on him. Despite Rom's not-so-subtle needling, Edamura couldn't sense any actual malice in those teases, which means he likened them a lot to the ones he gets from his merry band of confidence men back home. Edamura may be fussy and easily riled up, but DEEP DOWN IN HIS HEART he actually does not mind. . . a little bit of (well-meaning) bullying, because it gives him something quick and snappy to banter with. And he is an intelligent guy who does enjoy a bit of quick-witted banter. It's a sign of affection!! . . . kind of! So even if he had clocked Rom as A GUY WHO GETS ON HIS NERVES, he did have a little inkling that there was more to Rom than what he could see at first glance. He had the impression that Rom was a guy who actually did care, and really was trying to lift him up a bit in the wake of his worldview being in shambles. Which is something he actually did kind of need in the moment. . . and despite his outward fuss, actually really appreciated. Even if Rom ruined ("ruined") it by joking about charging for pep talks!! Either way, by the beginning of week two, Edamura's views on Rom could be distilled to, "definitely a genuinely nice guy but I kind of want to yank his hat down over his stupid smug expression??"
Around week two is when Edamura started keying in on the things that lay beneath Rom's veneer of uneasy weirdness. He picked up a lot of it from the hot pot date in particular, what with how Rom admitted that he had never done hot pot before (because it is a group activity), and how that fact led to them briefly scratching the surface of how lonely their lives really are. He was being 100% genuine in wanting to give Rom the ~ultimate hot pot experience~ too, partially because he could sense that loneliness (though he had no idea how bad it really was at that point) and simply because! He loves hot pot?? Why would he not want to share that with present company???
But what really hammered it home was their conversation about their ghosts. Edamura's mom died happy and content, and he has had quite a few years to process her passing. . . but that doesn't mean he still doesn't have a bazillion emotions about the circumstances surrounding it. Which is partially why he had attempted to avoid her ghost entirely! Because he simply did not want to deal with something he felt like he should have gotten over already! He got a bit fussy when Rom pushed him to try talking to her, but ultimately Rom was pretty gentle and understanding about Edamura's complicated feelings regarding his family situation. Which meant quite a lot to him, and also solidified the impression he had of Rom as "a weird guy but very genuinely a caring one." But since at that point Edamura was still a bit combative (due to Rom still being sorted as "kind of aggravating" in his mind), he also was not going to let Rom get away with counseling him without being counseled in return. And part of it was out of a sense of "quid pro quo" almost. . . but part of it was also because Rom had been so genuinely kind to him that he really wanted to return the favor. To give Rom a bit of space to talk about his own feelings rather than just constantly shouldering Edamura's. And at that point, he kind of felt like Rom was doing most of the burden carrying. . . which is why he pushed so hard to be the one listening for a change. Even if he knew that he would be unable to truly comprehend the loss that Rom had suffered! This isn't the thread where Edamura first consciously thought "baggage for baggage," but it definitely built the foundation for that notion, since it was the first time Edamura had pushed back for them to be on equal footing. Knowing that Rom's savior figure had died trying to protect Rom also put a loooot of things into perspective for Edamura. It helped him understand why Rom kind of kept himself at a distance from people, and solidified the notion that yeah, Rom really was a bit lonely.
And those notions were what he was carrying with him leading up to their conversation after the week two match ceremony, which I think-- from Edamura's perspective-- was the single most important conversation of their development. That talk came on the heels of Edamura having two of his (logically deduced) "perfect matches" being proven wrong, which means he was a bit adrift! A bit uncertain about what he was supposed to be looking for! Not only that, but he was watching other people fall together in ways that felt so natural for them, when the most romantic ("romantic") inclination he had felt in two weeks was just. . . "I would take this person out on a date and have a good time with them." A lot of this was Edamura's own fault for being unable to lower those walls when around other people, and he kind of knew it! But it still made him a bit frustrated with himself for being so utterly incapable of doing so.
3/3
I think Edamura went into week three definitely feeling something more than just simple friendship for Rom. But because of the nature of their relationship-- the back and forth they had where Rom teased Edamura and he responded by RUFFLING HIM (GENTLY) in return-- he was always going to need some kind of punch in the face to clock it in character. UNFORTUNATELY, Edamura's naively idealistic "type" does not align with the things that he actually wants or needs in a partner; I said it on his love survey, but his actual type is someone who does bully him! Someone who isn't "normal," who is willing to take risks, who is willing to push him out of his comfort zone. But because of his stupid fussiness, finding himself interested in that type came with the risk of very heavy denial. FORTUNATELY HE NEVER GOT TO THE DENIAL POINT WITH ROM. . . and I think it's because Rom's genuine kindness overshadowed his smug, obnoxious bullying in Edamura's mind (I make comparisons between Rom and Laurent, but truthfully Rom is 100000x better for Edamura in every way possible b/c he is not nearly as manipulative as Laurent is rofl). DOUBLE FORTUNATELY, week three is also when they went to the arcade, and thus is when Edamura did get a little punch to the face in the form of that so-called spark he said he didn't believe in.
The omamori truly was the moment where things started clicking into place for Edmaura. I JOKED ABOUT GAY PANIC WHILE WRITING THE THREAD, but no. That's what it was. 100%. And it seems like such a small, innocuous thing, especially since Rom had gone out of his way to be kind to Edamura in the weeks prior. But. . . Edamura comes from a world where people only give things if they expect to get something in return. That is the life of a con artist! He himself operates by this notion, even if he didn't bring it with him to AYTO. So Rom going out of his way to slip Edamura an omamori to keep him safe from the wayward spirits haunting the arcade without expecting anything in return was very ?! for him. It threw him completely off guard. Like, yes, Rom joked about making Edamura pay for half of it, but at that point he knew that Rom's sleazy salesmanship was just for show. And in that moment, Edamura truly couldn't think of a time where anyone (other than his mother) had gone out of their way to try and protect him. To keep him safe, even against the dangers that he could not see. Rom leaning so far into his personal space definitely helped (since he was already feeling some kind of way, physical proximity was always going to garner some kind of reaction from him), but it truly was the gift itself that completely altered the way he was looking at Rom. At the time he tried to blame it on the presence of spirits making him nervous! But as the week went on, as they spent more time together, as he ONCE AGAIN got all up in arms about the thought of Rom doing dangerous things all alone (see: hot springs thread), as he started to slowly realize that he truly did want to carve out a spot for himself in Rom's life, it got. . . harder and harder to pretend like that moment of heart-pounding emotion was just anxiety over being haunted.
So by the time the match ceremony rolled around, Edamura was pretty sure he was feeling some kind of non-platonic way about Rom. But he also thought, via his own really stupid over-fraught logic, that Maya was his perfect match. And since they hadn't tested Maya and Aventurine at the truth booth, and because they were safe due to Nico and Verso being a confirmed pair, he thought the match ceremony would be a good time to test it! But due to aforementioned non-platonic feelings, he felt a little torn on what he actually watend to do. Which is why he didn't stick around for the match ceremony discussion; he knew that Ringo would be there to help them with the math behind their pairings, and while he knew that math was important, he also just. . . didn't really want to hear it. Not when he was torn between making what he thought was a logical choice for his match, and actually saying something (being brave, to loop it back to Ringo) with his decision. And honestly! Before his post-TB threads, he was leaning more towards the former! For the sake of everyone's wishes! But then Rom brought up the possibility that they could be matched per Ringo's math, and, Edamura like. Had a moment of "WOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL SOME KIND OF WAY (POS), BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT, LET'S CONCEAL DON'T FEEL" which is why he kind of shut down at first and then turned it back on Rom to ask what he thought about their "statistical probability." And then Rom gave his perfectly calculated and logical reply, and Edamura was just like.
This guy. This fucking guy.
. . . and it was that perfectly logically reasoned response that made him realize he did not give two shits about the math! That he did not care about statistical probability. That he really did want to use his last match ceremony choice to make a statement. To actually say something, and have it mean something. It was not Ringo's math that pushed him into picking Rom that week. It genuinely was because he wanted to! And after three weeks of holding himself back, of erecting this carefully maintained wall between himself and most of the other contestants, he found himself wanting to be a li'l brave and kind of. . . let it down a bit.
And Rom responding to Edamura's resolve by saying he hoped that Edamara was called up first so he could choose Rom, instead of vice versa, is what completely solidified those not-entirely-platonic feelings into something deeply romantic. Because Edamura has been conned by others his entire life-- first by his father, then by Laurent and his team. . . a lot of the decisions he has made were the result of subtle manipulation, and he knows it! So to have someone look at him, to see his resolve, and basically say, "you've got this, I want you to make this choice" just. Meant sooooo goddamn much to him. Being able to make a decision that was 100% his own and not anyone else's is truly what he needed that week, though I do think even if Rom had gone up first, he still would have been just as happy. And it truly was a novel experience for him, to stand up in front of a small crowd of people and speak from his genuine heart, and not the clever conman who knows exactly what words will captivate a room. And he really was nervous about it! Because he truly had no idea how Rom would react to the things he wanted to say, even if he had a slight inkling it would be reciprocated just from their conversation the night before. But in a way, it was also very freeing for him to finally stop. . . overthinking, and just let himself follow the tug of his own heart.
I think it's pretty narratively appropriate that the moment Edamura finally stopped being fussy about his match is the moment he realized exactly who it was, and why. He chose Rom that match ceremony not quite believing in Ringo's math, so when the lights all but confirmed it, he was pretty surprised! But pleasantly so! And it says a lot about how he was feeling about Rom in that moment that he did not care to explain why it was them (though he certainly could have). He just knew that it was, and that was enough. Kind of like how picking Rom at the ceremony just because he wanted to was enough! I truly cannot overstate the sense of peace and contentment and confidence he had in the wake of that ceremony, not only because he was finally honest with himself about what he wanted, but because what he wanted was also what the show had given him. And while he knew logically that there was no point in caring what their official matches were if their hearts were drawn in different directions, he still thought it was kind of a nice, romantic notion that he and Rom were paired together all along, and he was just too stupid (read: anxious) to see it.
Week four was a lot of him stumbling through the first few steps of a new relationship. Testing out what felt right for the two of them! A lot of the teasing he got early week four kind of brought back a bit of his fluster (see: WWX calling them "lovers") because he truly had. No idea what he and Rom were supposed to be. And that didn't bother him too terribly much, because he sort of felt like the slower, more purposeful pace worked for them both? After all, Rom was an exorcist who kept himself sequestered from most of society due to the dangers of his work, and Edamura was an extremely guarded con man who lied to everyone around him for a living. It made sense to him that he and Rom were both a little slower to open up to the idea of an actual relationship!! And for him it was kind of better that way, since moving too quickly could have easily spooked him. EXCEPT. . . then they moved fast anyway because they paid a visit to the BBR, and Edamura was reminded of that calm contentedness he felt after the match ceremony. . . which made him way more open to the idea of physical intimacy in spite of all of the heckling the rest of the contestants (READ: POPPY) had given him. But that worked out well for them too, because despite his comfort with not putting a label on anything, it did make him actually think about it! Which is why he even brought up the idea of being "lovers" in the first place. I don't think he brought it up expecting Rom to agree to the idea, nor did he expect to walk away from that conversation with any kind of label for whatever their relationship was. Rom had said "I'll try" in response because he knew that his work would always be some kind of wedge between them. Edamura said "I'll try" because he knew that despite the strides he had made over the course of four weeks that he was still a pretty damaged person. But I think! "I'll try" is exactly what he wanted, because it meant that the both of them would be taking the next few steps into life after AYTO together. And that was pretty meaningful to him!
Slight tangent: speaking of being a damaged person, Rom is the only one who really got to see exactly how deep that damage runs, rofl. He didn't get all of it (the incident on the ship with Edamura's father only scratches the surface if you can believe it), but that was still a pretty important conversation, since a lot of it was Edamura admitting to feelings that he had neeeever spoken aloud. Working through the anger and bitterness that he is trying so hard to let go! Rom handled it all like a champ as always. Talking about the way his parents abandoned him and how deeply he cared for Towako-san and his master also let Edamura carry a bit of his baggage, and that exchange helped Edamura feel extremely comfortable with the idea of "baggage for baggage" that he had proposed at the match ceremony.
THIS IS SO LONG BUT TL;CR. . . Edamura would die for Rom, the end. Just kidding he won't actually, he is going to use his wish to make himself useful to Rom so he can help even in the most dangerous of situations. His biggest desire at the end of the game is to just be there for Rom in a way no one else has. To give him something to lean on when things get hard! To simply exist in the same space together, whether it is starting a joint business venture together (genuinely excited for that) or just. . . going out on silly dates (also genuinely excited for that). He has a lot of hope for their future and is pretty eager to experience a ton of firsts together! Rom means the world to him, and I truly love the development from "god this guy annoys me" to "god I would do anything for this man" because it is the best kind of ship development for a character like Edamura.
BONUS
But pondering last night about why Edamura wound up falling for Rom as he did (and Rom thinking Edamura might be slightly insane for genuinely liking him HAHA) made me realize that a) he has never told Rom why ICly (MAYBE HE WILL GET AROUND TO IT THE MORE HE LEARNS TO COMMUNICATE HIS FEELINGS) and b) in their week four talking head WWX was like. Would Edamura have fallen for literally anyone who was kind to him?? And I definitely don't think that is true, considering how many people were nice to him that he wound up not having romantic inclinations for. While I think Rom's kindness (specifically the omamori) certainly helped soften Edamura to the idea of falling in love, I don't think it was that alone that did it. I expanded already on his timeline of "wow this guy is obnoxious" to "wow this guy is lonely" to "wow I desperately want to carve out a spot for myself in his life to be there for him" above so I won't get into that again, BUT RATHER babble more about who Rom is as a person and why Edamura found himself drawn to him.
I said before that Edamura's actual type is people who push him out of his comfort zone! People who challenge him, and don't let him get away with pretending to be some ordinary everyday guy who vanishes into the crevices of society. This isn't just his type, but also the kind of person he needs most in his life to prevent himself from growing stagnant. He would, in fact, languish in obscurity without this kind of push! He is VAGUELY AWARE of this fact but likes to pretend it isn't true because it contradicts with his boringly naive notion that he wants to be a normal guy. Rom pushed Edamura from pretty much day one in all of his needling and teasing, which was the very first thing that drew Edamura towards him, even if Edamura was really fussy about it. But he also pushed Edamura in a much deeper way when he encouraged him to spend time with his mom's ghost! And further on, in week four, he pushed Edamura to think more about his relationship with his father and truly examine his feelings there. Beyond that, Rom also lives a pretty dangerous and "abnormal" lifestyle. . . and while he would still (rightfully) try keep Edamura kind of separated from that, I do think Edamura was drawn to the idea of new experiences, even if they were dangerous! Even if they were welllll out of his comfort zone. So the simple fact that Rom himself is not a "normal" person, nor does he live a "normal" life, was another point in his favor. Loathe as he is to admit it, Edamura does need SOME kind of excitement to keep himself going. He is not suited for mundanity and that fact truly kills him. It might be weird or even kind of shallow but I do think Rom's very existence as an exorcist drew Edamura towards him, even if he was like NOOOO I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT SPIRITS at first.
But the most important thing I think I missed on Edamura's love survey is how deeply he appreciates genuineness and sincerity in other people. Squee keyed onto that fact pretty quickly (THANK U SQUEE) but I sort of forgot to highlight it myself, cries. I think, after being surrounded by conmen and liars and disingenuous people (some as friends, some as family, some as targets of his schemes), Edamura has a GREAT appreciation for people who are what they are and nothing else. Even though Rom is very performative in how he presents himself, I think Edamura honed in on the fact that underneath the sleazy salesman was just. . . a guy trying his best. A guy who wanted to protect people!! A surprising genuine person with surprisingly genuine desires! Someone who did have a lot of emotion buried underneath his weird exterior, who sincerely wanted to protect others, and to make the world a safer place in whatever way he could. Even if it meant alienating himself from others via his words and actions. Keying in on that so quickly is what made him want to push Rom back in return, which I think is a good reason why they fell into a nice "baggage for baggage" dynamic, where they look out for each other and don't let the other get away with like. Trying to dodge feelings, or not talk about themselves. And I think it is Rom's genuine nature (cloaked in weird vibes as it is) that was Edamura's biggest draw towards him.
I think if asked straight up why he fell so hard for Rom, Edamura's first answer would be, "because he's sincere," before he makes a self-deprecating quip about him also being a pain in the ass and he GUESSES he kind of likes that!! After that he would probably talk more about what I said in the initial tl;cr— about Rom's kindness, about wanting to share baggage with him, etc etc. . . but anyway. It is very cute that Rom actually fits into the things Edamura actually wants/needs in a partner despite presenting himself as a statistical outlier. Pushes Edamura out of his comfort zone: check. Tugs him gently (WITH RIGHTFUL RESISTANCE) into a life with some sense of adventure: double check. Is very sincere and genuine beneath the layer of weirdo he shows to the world: triple check!!
sorry for more words I just literally thought of this last night. I will stop now I promise!1
no subject
Anyway the mental image of someone ever asking this to Edamura and Edamura answering with "because he's sincere" is so funny to me because if Rom was present for it he would genuinely just be sitting there going ?????????????????????????? to himself. He has plenty of positive adjectives he'd apply to himself without hesitation (and without sarcasm or facetiousness!), but 'sincere' is definitely not one of them ... I'm fucking crying to myself because I can already see I'm gonna have to fistfight the mental gymnastics demons anew over the subject of Rom's self-perception for my upcoming tl;cr with Yi Sang later. Mind you, I don't think Edamura is wrong -- Rom really is quite sincere in his altruism, he just goes about the task with insane clown logic that obfuscates his sincerity due to (gestures vaguely at his everything). But I think he just wouldn't characterize himself as sincere in any way, because he's too aware of the sheer density of his constant lying, as well as the fact that he relies on soft-scamming people in order to maintain his livelihood ... I bet it doesn't help either that his scamming seems to have been what mainly caused that rift between him and Mitsue for the long years before they finally repaired their relationship, making him doubly conscious of it even if he has no plans of changing his operating strategy.
Anyway I hope you'll be delighted to know that Rom is just going to think that Edamura is all the cuter and sweeter for attributing such a word to him, even if he thinks its accuracy is questionable. He knows Edamura is extremely kind and empathetic, willing to give people the benefit of the doubt -- it's why he thinks Edamura is able to accept him in the first place? So in his mind, it tracks that Edamura is also willing to attribute a word like 'sincere' to him, perhaps evaluating his intentions a little too highly ... It just means he's going to have to try all the harder to live up to those standards, huh. Since his main goal is still making sure Edamura doesn't regret anything!
no subject
also I am in fact delighted to know this. ehehe.