tl;cr meme

[marriagebroker]

post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.

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[poans]

Is this where you saw my feet taking me? To yet another window of discoveries . . .

Yi Sang had just left the white square, where Sang Yi had told him that he could walk ceaselessly until [his] feet decide[d] to stop, and make that [his] new home. That walk had led to the game, and, though there was no mirror of his make here, there was a window—a screen beyond which the faces of fellow players lay. The mirror's predecessor had been the glass window; hence, he remarked aloud to himself, perhaps as a force of habit, as if he were still talking to his reflection, whom he'd left behind. This was why he answered Aventurine's question that a reflection without a mirror [was] hardly ideal, and went on to say that he should instead be focusing on the players pictured and present around him. The window was a glimpse into heretofore unseen worlds, and, unlike a mirror, it could be unlatched to interact with the possibilities beyond. As Aventurine lacked the context for Yi Sang's thoughts, however, there was a disconnect.

There had been no windows in the white square. In fact, Yi Sang referred to the room as a square, because he'd been unable to perceive the door on the wall until the very end. But, because he was caught between exhaustion and indifference despite striking out with a desperate grip on the faint thread of hope, he couldn't bring himself to bother correcting the misconception of rooms with panes. If nothing else, the miscommunication was a reminder that the past he'd put behind him mattered little in the present, as it was now history. It was also silly of him to continue piping up to Sang Yi when he'd made the decision to go, so he turned his focus to the game.

Seeing Aventurine's profile, he noted the discrepancy in the name written to the one uttered aloud during a time everyone was together. As "Kakavasha" was never spoken around him, he defaulted to the popular Aventurine without asking questions. Plenty were posed to him, though, one of which was about whether anyone struck him as a potential destined soulmate. The game's primary draw to Yi Sang had been the promise of something more. Romance wasn't special to him, but he had been and still was clinging to the hope of something, anything that would allow him to live on in an existence that had lost all meaning. There was neither joy nor pain, only a void through which all things fell. As such, while he declined to answer in regard to the algorithm about which he knew nothing, he responded to Aventurine based on the faintest stimulation over the things that had once ignited passion in his heart: research (Odile) and engineering (Poppy). These were brains he thought he might want to pick down the line; it was, at the end of the day, a passing interest.

Aventurine, meanwhile, was much more private about his own thoughts. Instead, he went on to tease that Yi Sang might be their first visitor to the truth booth, with which the latter took no issue. In talking whether he would do anything he was told, he honestly replied that he had no reason to refuse an order. Upon the argument that an unwillingness to do so was reason enough, he simply said that he'd remember the words, which was the sort of noncommittal answer he gave to others as an acknowledgment without necessarily internalizing anything. Truthfully, he had pushed back at some point in his recent past, only for his wishes to have gone completely ignored. His thoughts hadn't and didn't matter. That very refusal had brought him to the estate with feet that ached so tremendously that he was sapped, drained of any sort of anticipation when it was easier to bend with the wind. Aventurine cautioned against giving others reasons to use him, but such a thing had already happened, and Yi Sang readily admitted to it as much. Exploitation and abuse were commonplace in the City, and he was accustomed to the condition of "being taxidermied," of going without vitality and consideration. Gubo and his colleague had influenced him as they'd pleased; while there were things he hadn't wanted to do, he'd known that he would eventually buckle under the weight of apathy and concede . . . but Sang Yi's words had reached him first.

In regard to the circumstances under which he'd arrived at the estate, what he gave was the cold truth: His feet were hurting; it was raining; and he felt so isolated and crippled that he would have accepted any shelter. Even if (and probably) nothing were to come of it, the game was a way out of those miserable conditions and a place for his feet to rest until it was time to resume the despairing march for somewhere to call home. He'd given up on the wish quickly and finding love wasn't the goal, but making connections was what he craved deep down.

Then Aventurine revealed that he hailed from a technologically advanced world, and Yi Sang was instantly taken with the idea of vessels that can fly. There are no aircrafts in the City! It's far too cramped for that. Airplanes don't exist, so the idea of a spacefaring vessel was incredible to Yi Sang, who wished above all else to fly, even if just once more, except that to him was nothing more than a futile dream. Still, he was moved by the thought that anyone could soar in Aventurine's world.

And then Yi Sang ruined the mood by butting in on Aventurine's conversation with Shoko for his love of wordplay. The lukewarm response left him just a bit embarrassed. He had always been an oddball, and for the most part people throughout his life had humored him; this time, however, Shoko was visibly confused while Aventurine was making some effort to play it off. The resultant awkwardness was too much that Yi Sang beat a hasty retreat, thinking that he'd annoyed Aventurine at the least.

Spin the bottle fared only a touch better. By virtue of being himself, Yi Sang effectively killed any sense of romance whenever it was his turn. Excited was the recurring word up to this point, and he found it strange that anyone would grouse at it for him when, previously, any level of excitement to where he would become uncooperative had upset the people seeking to use him. After all, he was the "taxidermied genius." It was different for people to want him to be expressive. It was odd, but also part of the reason he slowly began to warm up to everyone and become a little more talkative over the week. As this particular game was designed to test everyone's connections with one another, he thought every experience would be unique. Surprisingly, the experience with Aventurine was gentler than he'd expected, and the words that followed were food for thought. Not only was Aventurine handing out something without asking for returns, he even asked if the kiss had sufficed. It was a game, and that much effort wasn't a requirement. That he did it nevertheless spoke for Aventurine's character.

By the ceremony, Yi Sang was developing the impression that Aventurine was a giver between the unsolicited advices, the kiss, and the decision to shop for him. The last bit was one that didn't ask for Yi Sang's thoughts, but the gesture was a selfless one. Aventurine even talked about dipping into his own bank in case they didn't receive an allowance from production for the date! This was odd behavior to someone from the City, where it's every man for himself. While there are good people, bending so far backward for a near stranger is unheard of. Even Yi Sang, upon abandoning his hometown for greener pastures, had carried a great deal of guilt over the fact that his attempt at a better life for himself had cost someone else. This is why flying is such an earnest dream of his, as it's a manifestation of his desire to no longer take anything from anyone.

Come the second week, their date was the first of several for Yi Sang, who was in sore need of a proper wardrobe—not that he was particularly self-conscious, having little capacity to care at this juncture more than any other. After the misstep at the ceremony the other night, he felt that his efforts would ultimately amount to nothing and that time would see all things reduced to passing history, so he just about stopped caring entirely. Most of his functionality was owed to Wei Wuxian, whom he viewed as the authority of the set, and out of respect for his fellow players. The shopping trip was unnecessary, but he went, because he would not deprive Aventurine of the experience for the sake of the game.

I said that he wore mostly sandals in the brackets based on the cultural inspiration of his district in the City. While his fashion now is very occidental, his garbs were probably more traditional in his hometown, and I also yanked his shoe size based on the real life national average. 🤓 Moving from S Corp. to T Corp., which bears a western aesthetic, he is familiar with kicks! Overall, his style of draping his shoulders with coats is likely born from his native fashion where outer robes are prevalent, and some of his reflections are seen wearing those in their respective mirror worlds.

At any rate, he did not intend to abuse production's money, and so settled for the one pair of shoes that was comfortable. This didn't stop Aventurine from going on a shopping spree with clothes, but his eye for the college professor look did generally align with Yi Sang's personal style, even if he wouldn't have spoken up much. Whatever Aventurine saw fit to hand him was good enough in his indifferent mood.

Chatting, he learned that Aventurine was an investor, of a sort. Given how comfortably and confidently he presented himself, Yi Sang, who was much shier and faint-hearted in comparison, took such a display as the result of experience. As he explained, he saw Aventurine as the type who couldn't let things be. If he saw something worthy of investment, he would pour all of himself into it—people included. This was easy to share, as it was an observation and not an abstract thought rooted in sentimentality, which he had a harder time expressing and was why he shut down the line of query about his feelings on their date. He had zero thoughts. This was his lifelong coping mechanism, even before things had gone so wrong, where he would exhaust himself trying to put word to his many thoughts that he'd simply answer that he wasn't thinking anything. Here, it didn't matter if anything involved him, because nothing would change. It wasn't that he was reluctant to regard himself, but more that he was drowning in his apathy, unable to hold onto passing emotions for more than a second. Having said that, he did have some semblance of a hard line where harming people was out of the question. His disbelief that Aventurine could do anything he'd find himself averse to was specifically in reference to the man himself: Aventurine seemed very kind, so much so that Yi Sang couldn't imagine Aventurine's acting selfishly in a way he might have considered repulsive.

Yi Sang pushed back on Aventurine's impression of him, stating that this [wa]s all that [he was]. Stripped of his personhood and his thoughts, he was nothing. The subject of mirrors was a loaded one for him, but he also believed himself to be completely alone in a darkened world ever since he'd left Gubo, his last remaining compatriot from their shared past, drifting with nowhere to call home and nobody to whom he could return. If anything, it stood out more that Aventurine sounded to have a low assessment of himself. It was true, however, that Aventurine was physically here at his side, so, with nothing against him, Yi Sang set the matter of reflections aside to focus on the date.

Then the ghosts arrived. Yi Sang wasn't actually hurt by the sight of Sang Yi; if anything, he was as upset as he could be to see his free self caught in an illusory loop, regardless of how aware the latter was. Still, he allowed himself to be steered away by Aventurine, who accurately noted Sang Yi's significance.

Sang Yi is extremely important to Yi Sang. They'd met when Yi Sang had been at his happiest, envious of Sang Yi's resplendent wings that represented the freedom he'd so dearly wished to grasp by making the mirror. Following the untimely and violent end of those days, Yi Sang had fallen into a grief-stricken slump, through which Sang Yi had spoken to him in order to ease his remorse and depression. Eventually, seeing that Yi Sang had grown bereft of all hope, Sang Yi had presented him with two options: Leave with awareness of the cruelties being perpetrated by his technology, or overdose on the sedatives Gubo had been giving him and return to the status quo. Upon hiding the pills, what Yi Sang had thought to be a white square had actually been a room, which he'd only noticed upon regaining his senses. So he'd left. Yi Sang had wanted to change, but it was Sang Yi who'd put the means into his hands, and for that reason he attributed his presence in the game to him.

Seeing Aventurine express such care over a mere apparition, Yi Sang decided to ask if he should acknowledge or ignore the ghost assigned to the former. He felt it necessary to ask, because, back in the white square, he'd requested that Sang Yi turn away when he did as reflections would, but he had no knowledge of what Aventurine was feeling or thinking. It turned out that the individual was Aventurine's sister, who'd passed. Yi Sang could only relate to the deaths of parents and potentially friends, but he understood still the terrible grief of loss. Out of consideration for that grieving heart, he promised to greet her for Aventurine's sake. While Yi Sang was highly suicidal at this point, he has never enjoyed seeing others in pain, and that was why he moved.

At the second ceremony, Yi Sang agreed with Nico's words about Aventurine, who shone like a star. What the latter had said about companions and mirrors on the date applied to him and not Yi Sang, who'd turned his back on the possibilities and dreams reflected in the mirror.

Their next date took them to wine and cheese tasting! Yi Sang didn't drink much in the game. He does drink, but I imagine he didn't do it terribly often. While he and his friends must have gone out to eat and drink together back in the day, upon moving to T Corp. they'd devoted many of their spare hours into their collective hobby of inventing and discovering for that sort of outing. Now, he was somewhat wary of going without his mental faculties after spending an indeterminable amount of time in a drugged haze within the white square. There had been no way for him to keep track of the time, and he hadn't cared enough to even bother trying. And there definitely hadn't been wine in the white square, else the interaction with the pills would have killed him.

As Aventurine spoke, Yi Sang realized that the former was prone to emotionally investing in all matters. (Incidentally, burned liquor was referring to soju.) Like on their previous date, he gave a rundown of his observations on the wine he was tasting, but topped it off with a sentimental conclusion about how the taste would not be experienced for a second time once this moment has passed. This was their unique experience, and it wasn't just the flavor of the wine he was noticing.