tl;cr meme

[marriagebroker]

post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.

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tiredly honks my clown nose .............. 1/2

[phenomerom]

It's time. Cocks my clown cannon and aims it in sweet Yi Sang's direction --

I gotta be honest. I usually start these word dumps with the warning that I'm about go into Rom's stupid 4D chess mental gymnastics, but that actually isn't the case when it comes to Yi Sang. This is mostly thanks to the fact that Rom's much bigger concern regarding Yi Sang was a very simple 'oh, I have no clue what to do with this guy.'

Setting aside the nuances of his mindset when it came the role he thought he was meant to play and what influence that might have on his perfect match, Rom ultimately accepted his invitation to AYTO under the assumption that he would be spending four weeks working -- he would not be 'earnestly looking for romance,' but rather, 'performing as an entertainer for the cameras, which would include puzzling out his game-assigned perfect match under the pretense that he was seeking romance.' And while this definitely affected his approach when it came to trying to figure out who the hell the production had assigned to him as his perfect match, it also meant that, on a base level, he was constantly very aware of how his interactions would look to the show's audience. This came with both upsides and downsides. Pros: he was always very alert to the chances of running PR for his own personal channel and brand, which he considered a huge perk of taking on the job! Con: man, it stressed him out whenever he ran into a situation where he wasn't sure how he was supposed to liven things up for the audience .... which ended up being most of this early experiences with Yi Sang.

Mind you, it's not that Rom necessarily blamed Yi Sang for any of this. I think Rom's immediate first impression when it came to Yi Sang was that he was very ... honest. For better and for worse. When it came to their early encounters, like during spin the bottle and even up to their disastrous ice cream parlor date, Rom was mostly aware of how honest Yi Sang seemed, even if it was to his (Yi Sang's own) detriment. There was no sense of falsehood or showmanship when it came to Yi Sang's dead-eyed, deadpan and almost soulless demeanor; Rom's reading was that it was entirely genuine, cameras be damned. And while as a certified oddball himself, he wasn't going to judge Yi Sang for it, it sure did throw him for a loop in that he had no idea how to play off that sort of empty husk demeanor in order to make for good television. I should clarify here -- Rom isn't inflexible when it comes to how he bounces off most people! He is up for both bullying (Edamura) and being bullied (Poppy), being lowkey (Shoko) and being more bombastic (Messmer), as well as everything in between; he's made his living off of being marketable (in his specific niche) for a good few years by now, and he's pretty good at figuring out how to spin most scenarios in a way that retains views. -- Yi Sang, though? It was a bit like squeezing water out of a stone. Attempts at being courteous (spin the bottle) and being blunt (the latter portion of their ice cream parlor date) seemed equally fruitless, no matter how much he tried to fish for some sort of genuine reaction out of Yi Sang. (Note: this was the main reason he bothered ordering all that ice cream, to try and stir some sort of reaction out of Yi Sang.) So even setting aside all personal feelings, I think Rom mostly just felt low-key stressed when it came to having to spend too much time around Yi Sang during those first two weeks and change.

Although ... there was also a personal element here. Because I think I mentioned it somewhere (the CR chart maybe?) before, but Yi Sang actually reminded Rom a lot of back when he was much younger. We don't get to see a ton of Rom back in his childhood, but what we do see is pretty consistent: he was a quiet child with dead eyes, a gloomy disposition and a somewhat stilted way of talking. He's later described as having been quite shy -- an excellent student, and seemingly very astute, but also very introverted and strongly averse to making eye contact. It all sounds a little familiar, no?

This isn't to say that Rom thought of Yi Sang and himself as true equals in any way; he would have considered that an insulting statement, and he never got the impression that Yi Sang held the same potential for duplicity or deceit that he does. But he did end up wondering if maybe Yi Sang was in a similar place mentally that he'd been back in his childhood -- adrift, lost, and in need of someone kind to offer a helping hand. Though he wouldn't have necessarily characterized himself as 'in pain' back in those younger days, Rom does know that it was warmth and kindness that ultimately helped him find his equilibrium as he was growing up; he desperately needed the stabilizing presence of someone like his mentor who was willing to support him. And Rom's never been able to forget the kind helping hand that Towako -- his Master's mentor, the woman who rescued him from his abandonment -- offered him when he was at his lowest. For as much as Rom wants to help people in need, I think he's also sharply aware of his strengths and his weaknesses, his capabilities and his limitations; his area of expertise is handling ghosts, and when it comes to offering people genuine warmth and kindness, he knows there are others who are far more suited to filling that role. Thus, Rom backed off a half-step to keep a little distance between them -- both for his own sake, since he was stressed enough trying to figuring out his match, but also for Yi Sang's, because he didn't want to eat up any precious time that Yi Sang might better spend in the company of their warmer, more genuine castmates.

This was partly why Rom was quietly rooting for Yingying and Yi Sang to work out -- if not as game-assigned perfect matches, then at least a genuine connection outside of the game's system. Yes, Yingying generally unnerved him (see above tl;cr re: Yingying), and yes, he had no idea what to do with Yi Sang when it came to screentime, but YiYi's interactions in general and on stage (during the second match ceremony) seemed genuine and warm -- maybe this could be good for the both of them? But also, just on a more human and personal level, Rom would have liked for Yi Sang to find the same sort of warmth that he'd been blessed with in his own youth. To be lonely and adrift is a terrible feeling, and he would have liked for Yi Sang to find reprieve, if that really was the cause of his odd demeanor.