tl;cr meme

[marriagebroker]

post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.

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[embellwish]

take my hand, it is time for the Yingying part of the yiyi dissertation

Beginning with where they met in the gardens, the first thing that drew Yingying to Yi Sang was simply his stoic, quiet nature, and how strange it seemed for him to be standing there, completely still, staring at the pond. She’s friendly to everyone she meets, yes, but Yingying is particularly drawn to those who she thinks may be in need of help – or in need of a listening ear. That’s the kind of thing she’s best at, after all! They were going to have to get to know each other for the competition anyhow, so she approached without a second thought. She didn’t mind that their conversation started out stilted, or that there were misunderstandings… if anything, she found his avoidant gaze and stilted words unique and eccentric. In her love survey, I mentioned that she particularly likes shy and flustered types, as these are the types that she enjoys toying with and bringing out of their shell – so, Yi Sang caught her attention very early on, as she was equal parts curious about what his meekness entailed, as well as interested in seeing what may lie beneath it.

The other part of their first conversation that had her setting her sights on him as one of the contestants to pursue early on was their brief talk of their homelands. Coming into the competition, Yingying’s century-long connection to the last few days before her homeland’s ultimate demise had just been severed. Despite that, the grief she felt wasn’t the kind that had her falling to her knees and screaming – she, perhaps like him, had a deep sense of apathy for the future, paired alongside a yearning for a warmer, more colorful past. Yingying had always known that she wanted to share the traditions of her homeland with the contestants she met at the competition, however her fate ended up, so it was a no brainer to also wish for Yi Sang’s traditions to be shared as well, suspecting that he, too, may have lost his homeland in a tragic way. She parted ways with him in their initial conversation simply wishing in the future to get to know him more, and perhaps to get him to loosen up.

Thus, her intentions to mess with him during spin the bottle. Truthfully, as soon as the game began, she was hoping she would spin him, already ardently curious about what kind of expression he would have receiving a kiss from her. A kiss is just a kiss to Yingying – it’s really not a big deal, and not something she feels shy about handing out, receiving, or sharing. So her wanting to kiss him wasn’t exactly like… Romantic interest at this point… it was more curiosity and just wanting to draw a reaction out of him. Moreover, Yingying isn’t oblivious to her beauty or charms – quite the opposite, really – and she’s used to having something of an effect on people. She really wanted to see him flustered and blushing… (‾◡◝) like it’d be a crack in that stoic, quiet front he seemed to show everyone else. One that only she might be able to pry out. Him unwittingly saying romantic lines while being completely oblivious was just the cherry on top. Everything was pointing to him not being very experienced in matters of the heart… and this really was like catnip to her. Yingying is easily bored by the cliché, by being pursued and by outward efforts to charm her. Yingying loves happy endings, but traditional romance of the kind that are in Yugu’s tales or books don’t interest her at all… the truth is, she found his inexperienced fluster far, far more charming than many of the others she’d kissed that night. Like, it just made her want to kiss him again another time, later, with even more efforts, hoping that his reaction might get more and more adorable…

The teasing truly only got worse from here… when the group decided that Yingying was a good candidate for their first truth booth, she was more than fine with going! At that point in the game, I would still say that her interest in Yi Sang wasn’t necessarily romantic; she was just toying with him and having fun discovering new sides of him. When he butted in upon hearing the word ideal, she jumped at the chance to insinuate that he was angling to go to the booth with her, 100% knowing that that hadn’t been his intention at all. Any dismay she showed after he denied her claims was purely for the sake of playing and drawing out more sincerity from him, which, as always, worked marvelously! She wasn’t messing with him to be mean-spirited or try to embarrass him, at least – rather, she saw in Yi Sang someone who has a hard time fitting in or speaking up, and who may have a difficult time making connections. Like, he was so stiff? Messing with him was going to help him? Teasing and playing with him like this was her way of trying to make him be comfortable with them all (and her, specifically), to get him to loosen up and maybe laugh a little. Outside finding this side of him cute and genuinely wanting for him to be pulled into the wider circle of the contestants, her feelings didn’t extend beyond sincerely platonic.

But when he chose her at the ceremony… that’s when things started to change! If Yingying had to pinpoint one moment where she felt that she began to have serious feelings for him, this would be the moment she would choose. While it was obvious just from talking to him casually that he was well-read and articulate, she hadn’t been expecting him to say something so poetic at the ceremony to anyone, let alone her. While she’d brought up his name as someone she’d be interested in matching with, she had the impression that he might be too intimidated to pick her after she had been (affectionately) picking on him for the whole week prior. Even if he did pick her, she was expecting something shorter and more perfunctory, utilitarian in its briefness, like he was simply completing a chore. Instead, he had beautiful words to say about her stride, how dearly she carries “the memories of yesterday,” and it was surprising in the best way.

Yingying isn’t a stranger to the world of poetry; much of her in-game flavor text is based upon traditional Chinese poetry, and a lot of her in-game lines are clearly meant to be poems. Furthermore, the Wisteria Pavilion within which she lives is heavily implied to be like a courtesan house from historical Chinese fiction; courtesans in houses of the Wisteria Pavilion’s status, in this sort of fiction, were commonly poets, musicians, strategists, or scholars, alongside also being sex workers. While it isn’t explicitly laid out in her event, it’s quite likely that Yingying’s status in the house as a high-ranking courtesan means she has a lot of experience reading and sharing poetry with patrons, given her knowledge of the subject.

So! Anyways!! It was a really beautiful sentiment for him to share, and one she could appreciate more because of its plain straightforwardness. As above, she’s familiar with these sorts of things, but she’s also more accustomed to the sense of drama and romanticism such poems are usually performed with, which Yi Sang absolutely lacked. But it was in the absence of those qualities that made his words reach her more easily… because she knew they were offered simply and wholly from his heart. At this point in the game, the times where she felt he had truly spoken from deep within himself were few and far between, if at all. Coming to know that he had such a sensitive soul underneath his stoic, stilted attitude made her feel more motivated than ever to keep nourishing and coaxing out that side of him. For the first time, she started looking at him in a romantic light, charmed by the innocent nature of his kindness – he was just too sweet to not covet.

That’s why when asked, she didn’t quite have a number in mind for their likelihood. For all that Yingying seems to be from folklore, and how she reveres happy endings, she is, in actuality, a realist. Her vision of the matches was not quite so fantastical and rooted in ‘true love’ as it was logical: things like having feelings for someone can’t be quantified, and in that sense, can’t be fully predicted. So, from the start, her vision of the eventual match-ups was more along the lines of “there will be some kind of explanation for whoever I’m matched with,” but that didn’t hold any bearing over who she might have feelings for. Possibilities are endless, and different things happening at a different time might have caused her to fall for someone else entirely! That was what she had meant when talking about shadows – what might seem like an ‘ideal’ pair from one perspective may not seem like that at all from another. For instance, they might all find a pair unlikely, but the producers might see it in an entirely different light. All she could comment on is that if she had had the chance to choose, she would’ve picked him at the ceremony as well – that for the time being, she felt her connection to him was the most worth testing.

Emboldened by the words he’d said at the ceremony, she started feeling more confident in making advances towards him, and pushing him a little more… so, when he continued to avoid her gaze, she tried her hand at gently nudging him to look at her, not fully expecting it to work out. I think, from a bird’s eye standpoint, she’s not very used to being avoided like that – most people who met her at the Wisteria Pavilion had to pay an exorbitant price to do so, and those she was close with on the street she lived on were like her family, and had no reason to keep from looking at her directly. That isn’t to say no one’s ever been shy in her presence before… but Yi Sang’s avoidance always felt different than plain bashfulness. It felt like it went deeper than that, as she never saw him really looking at Anyone. She thought she’d just gently tease him a little and reassure him that it was okay to look at her, and that she wanted to see his gaze, too – because she did! Starting to feel a little flutter of something for him, she really wanted to look upon him properly; eyes are the windows to the soul, they say, after all… until then, she’d only really been able to read his gaze while it was slightly obscured by the angle.

It was really meaningful, then, that he pushed himself to meet her eyes, even if he broke away after a few short moments. It told her a lot about him. His gaze, while tentative and short lived, was gentle and wearied. As she would come to comment upon many times, he just always looked so tired… and uncertain, too, both things she felt she could steady and soothe in him. What would a well-rested, comforted Yi Sang look like? Looking into his eyes for the first time, she was determined to find the answer while being here, whether or not anything became of the tiny bud of her feelings.

But then everything changed when Odile one-shotted his single point of HP…….. I don’t really think Yingying was offended on his behalf, but more protective. Having seen how much he was struggling to speak, to connect with them all even in something as simple as making eye contact, Odile’s words were undoubtedly read as hurtful by her. To Yingying, it had seemed that his actions that day at the ceremony and after came from an immense internal effort, not to be taken lightly. Though he had struggled to confidently say who he was going to pick, he had worked up the courage to choose her and to write sincere words to accompany it, and to lift his head to look at her. She didn’t want that effort trampled on, even if inadvertently. Yingying isn’t the type to argue with or admonish others, so she approached the situation with her usual grace and patience, wanting to show Odile her perspective on things, instead of going ‘actually he asked for no pickles!!!!’ mode. She thought, perhaps, Odile couldn’t see how challenging it had been for Yi Sang to say what he had, to lift his head and look at her for the first time… to say it was all futile was akin to casting all his sincere efforts to the side with the trash.

On some matters, she knew that Odile was right – that whatever this ‘journey’ of his entailed, it was unlikely she’d be able to provide any guidance or help. Maybe it would turn out that Yingying was totally useless for him… she was still quite apathetic about her future, thinking that she would likely die or spend many more years imperceptible to the outside world before really being able to do anything. What use would a “traveler” like him have for someone like that? But she believed she was making positive strides with him, nonetheless. That she could bring out a different, more content side of him, before she faded away.