tl;cr meme

[marriagebroker]

post your character, people reply, give them the deets. you know how this goes.

Comments

[ordimame]

MISS SHOKO. . . I cannot overstate exactly how much Edamura is leaving the game absolutely and utterly adoring her. Their CR was soooooo important to me in how it developed SO LET ME JUST TRY TO PUT THAT INTO COHERENT WORDS--

Their initial meeting wasn't anything SUPER remarkable but-for the fact that it was literally Shoko who gave Edamura the idea to call himself a freelancer LMFAO. She did come off as someone cool and collected, a bit flirty with a good sense of humor, which definitely left a positive impression on him! But it was her coming to talk to him during spin the bottle that solidified her as someone he would definitely like. I think I said it in Rom's tl;cr, but Edamura sat out of the game not because he was opposed to playing (although he would have been pushing himself a little bit if he had), but because he was kind of GRUMPY AND SULKY after having his normie worldview completely upended. So anyone who spent time with him at that point-- when he had lowered his masks a bit to be more natural, more himself, and less of a try-hard fake romantic-- got to see a bit more of his genuine self! And although he didn't say it, he kind of also appreciated everyone's company that night. Shoko particularly helped ground him by making jokes about also being haunted (lol) and then asking him whether he would be okay dating someone who came from a world completely unlike his own (which pushed him to think about it, and very quickly come to the answer of "yes," which put him in a good place to genuinely bond with the non-normies of this round). He did get a little annoyed at being called "Mame-chan," but he accepted the nickname simply because she was being nice to him while she used it. SO YOU KNOW. SHOKO RIGHTS.

That conversation was also the first time he looked at her and consciously thought, "you know, I'd kind of like to take her out on a date." She made him feel comfortable, she was cool and pretty, the show's premise itself encouraged casual dating, so his thoughts were just like. . . well! Why not! Could be fun! He had no real expectations beyond that thought, just. . . you know. The desire to get to know someone he vibed well with in a date-like setting, to further test potential romantic compatibility. Which is how he made his choices that first match ceremony! He wasn't thinking too hard about who his "perfect match" was back then (b/c it had only been a week, and his ROMANTIC MATHING did not begin in earnest until week two), nor was he like. . . thinking too hard about making actual romantic connections. All of the romantic nonsense he had spouted to everyone during that first week was a bold-faced lie (mostly to himself) in an attempt to fit himself into the show's premise, and make himself believe he could find a romantic connection of some sort (when deep down he truly believed he could not). So despite asking Shoko out with deliberate date-like intentions, he still like. Had ALL of his walls up, which would in turn prevent him from easily forming romantic attachments in the early parts of the game. WHICH DID INCLUDE SHOKO, THOUGH SHE GOT. . . REALLY, REALLY CLOSE.

And although their first date further proved to him how much he enjoyed spending time with Shoko, those walls would not start to come down until their first shared cigarette. This did NOT come up like. . . at all in AYTO, but Edamura's smoking habit is intrinsically tied to the most stressful and legitimately traumatic period of his life, LMFAO. It's attached to an identity he built up for the sole purpose of pulling off a successful confidence scheme, an identity he has THOROUGHLY shed it at this point in time. Nicotine addiction does not care about one's mental walls between their multiple identities!! Neither does Pavlovian response!! So finding her in the garden smoking a cigarette during what was a stressful time for them both kind of triggered his cravings, even though he had been clean for moooonths pre-AYTO. It might seem silly, but him sitting down and asking to share a smoke with her was a form of him letting down his walls, simply because it was him sliding back into a bad habit formed under intense pressure. Showing a bit of vulnerability, but non-verbally! Their conversations about the natures of their ghosts afterwards also helped him drop his guard around Shoko, which in turn helped him feel more comfortable around her in a very genuine way! Not just a. . . "I'm on a dating show so I should go out on dates" kind of way.

So by the end of week two he was already feeling pretty soft on her, which brings us to the post-truth booth thread!! And cuddles!! WHICH TRULY TOOK HIM OFF GUARD. . . not badly, but it did kind of scramble his thoughts a bit, because like. His walls with her had come down a little bit, but not enough for him to form a heartfelt, romantic attachment just yet. He knew that she was someone he could talk to-- just a little bit! He knew that he was attracted to her! He knew he wanted to go out with her again to keep testing their compatibility! But when she asked if he "like-liked" her (which also scrambled him a little I'M SO SORRY SHOKO), he truly couldn't say yes, simply because he simply had not allowed himself to open up to anyone on that level. IT WAS 100% NOT HER FAULT, IT WAS 100% EDAMURA HOLDING HIMSELF BACK. . . which he had genuinely been doing with everyone for those first two weeks, both out of a fear of being perceived and a fear of being hurt (see: dissertation about Edamura's real feelings on love and romance that I haven't written yet). I think he came away from that thread kind of wanting to "like-like" her though? He was definitely being honest when he said he wanted to keep going out.

But the week two match ceremony, plus his deeply heartfelt and extremely foundational conversation with Rom, kind of stopped all of that in its tracks. When Shoko got up and picked up Poppy, he found that didn't feel jealous about it at all. He felt genuinely happy that Shoko had bonded with someone who could make her feel lighter. Who could help ease the emotional burden she was carrying with her in the wake of her friends' deaths! And in that moment, in realizing that he just. . . wanted the best for her, in realizing that best was someone else not him, he kind of realized that everything he did feel for her was perfectly platonic. Which didn't bother him, because he hadn't come onto the show expecting to form romantic attachments. All he wanted were new connections! Although this realization did kind of contribute to his post-match ceremony fussiness, where he was irritated at himself for being unable to form those quick romantic attachments that people like Shoko and Poppy, or Ringo and Furina, had formed.

BUT FUNNILY ENOUGH. . . I do think Edamura deciding that his feelings for Shoko were platonic SUPER helped their CR blossom into something soooooo good. Because suddenly, even though they were still hanging out, he was no longer thinking, "is this a date just for the sake of the show or do I REALLY like her??" And thus all of their post-week two bonding wasn't laced with Edamura's insecurities and/or anxious overthinking! Which genuinely helped him get over himself and allow himself to come to care about her on his own terms. Their week 3 date conversation TRULY felt like a turning point in their CR too, because it was that thread where Shoko showed him what was underneath her cool and confident mask. I think it really meant a lot to him, for Shoko to talk about her own insecurities, and how she never truly feels seen because she has specific roles to play. It really resonated with a lot of his own issues and had him thinking that they were more alike than he thought. . . which made him feel like he had finally found someone who truly understood what it was like to be a career liar. And then, of course, in week four they bonded EVEN MORE about the horrendous things Shoko had done to defeat the King of Curses, which also resonated with the horrendous things Edamura had to do in his time as a confidence man. If you add in their shared bad habit of using nicotine to numb themselves to the horrors of the world, he really just felt like Shoko could. . . get him in a way that few others could. AND HONESTLY BY THE END OF THE GAME HE JUST. . .

He felt so grateful to have met her! To have the support of a companion who isn't related to his work as a confidence man. He thinks she makes a really good confidant (reasons why she was the one he told about his budding romantic notions re: Rom, and also the ONLY ONE IN THE HOUSE besides Rom TO FIND OUT HE ACTUALLY DID USE THE BBR), and absolutely wants to keep in touch with her now that the competition is over. He was DEAD SERIOUS about being her accountability buddy re: quitting their smoking habit, because he truly believes neither of them need it anymore, now that they have so many other important people in their lives supporting them. "Mame-chan" still kind of makes him INTERNALLY SIGH, but she has Mame-chan rights because who can say no to Miss Shoko. . . not this guy. . .