perfectmatch | week three

[. . . . . . .]

Things are rough for you back home right now. . . aren't they?

Hmm? [ She looks up from her beer glass. Oh. ] Eh... It's true that things were rough up until pretty recently, but... they're slowly getting better now. That's the only reason I was able to step away and come here, anyway.

[ . . . ]

I'd just helped one of the students lay his sister to rest after everything before I came here. That's why I said that.

Edited 2025-06-17 03:21 (UTC)

[. . . nnnngh. he knows death is a natural part of a physician's job, but why does he feel like she deals with it far more than any doctor actually should. . . ?]

That's. . . awful.

[a little exhale. he toys with his chopsticks between his fingers, but does not use them to pick up another piece of food. yet]

. . . do you ever feel like your job is taking an unhealthy toll on you?

[ Shoko takes her chopsticks to grab a piece of karaage, too, without pausing at all for Edamura's question as she answers, again without further consideration: ]

I know that it is.

[ The mental toll, physical... the sleepless nights and drinking and smoking... ]

But it's something only I can do. Haibara used to say about why he wanted to become a sorcerer too - that's my kouhai who never made it out of school. You saw his ghost. Guess what he said stuck with me, too.

[it all comes together when he thinks about what she has been through. her poor habits, her horrendous sleep schedule. he doesn't know much about her "curses," but that in and of itself sounds. . . awful. the deaths of her friends. the deaths that surround her students. he bets the school she works at may even be similar to the one she attended herself, too]

[. . .]

So even if it hurts, you're determined, huh. . .

. . . that's pretty brave of you.

[a tiny quirk of a smile]

But I hope you know that even if it's only something you can do, you don't have to do it all alone. Someone can help you carry those memories. Make them a little. . . lighter.

[. . . he doesn't mean to, but his gaze dips down as he thinks back to what she said about Poppy]

[ Brave has never really been a word she'd use to describe herself. It's a word for the sorcerers and students who go out on missions, fighting curses and whatnot, risking their very lives. So at that, she can't help but stare at Edamura, and even more so when he seems a little down. ]

...Edamura? What's the matter?

[ She knows what he's thinking about, what he's referring to, and yet even for Shoko, who'd said those things herself at the ceremony, it isn't so simple. ]

-- huh?

[his gaze snaps up quickly, loose and wide-eyed]

Oh-- it's nothing. [snags another piece of chicken!] . . . I guess I just wish there was some way I could help.

[he truly has no desire to be anything but completely and utterly average. and yet, at times like this. . . when someone he likes seems to be struggling so much underneath the weight of her responsibilities. . .]

But I don't know anything about sorcerers, let alone curses.

[ ...Ah.

She takes a long sip of her beer. ]

...Neither does Poppy, you know. She doesn't even know about any of this. And it's not like I'm hiding it from her, it's just—

[ there's never been a good time to talk about it. At length, Shoko just sighs, putting her beer down and leaning back, staring up at the ceiling. ]

When I talked about feeling "lighter," it's a feeling of... Not being trapped by what I do. And going out like this, eating and having drinks and just talking together makes me feel more... normal. That's what I meant. So— you're helping just by being like this too, Makoto.

[Mak--]

[. . . . . .]

[. . . truly unfair, isn't it? a small exhale, and then smile]

. . . that makes me pretty happy to hear, Shoko.

[he supposes if he can do that much, then. . . it's enough]

Are you going to tell her? I get the feeling she'd. . . appreciate it, you know?

I want to. Honestly, it's kind of crazy how she's managed to avoid finding out one way or another. Sometimes, it feels... Hm. [ grabbing another chicken ] Like she has an idea of me that she might not want to let go of.

[ And it's unfair of Shoko, to want to hang onto that in a way. But as nice as it has been to simply just be Shoko around Poppy, she'll always be Dr. Ieiri, too. ]

...I also told her that she shouldn't limit herself, moving forward. I'm not the only person here that sees what she can offer. [ Going back to Edamura's discussion topic that Shoko had stayed on the sidelines for. ] And I think it would be good for her to see that, too.

[. . . something about that resonates with him. the thought of someone clinging to an ideal and not the actual person. after all, isn't that what had happened to him, back when he was--]

[. . .]

[. . . he should probably tell Shoko about that sometime, shouldn't he?]

. . . you're right. Poppy's pretty great. [energetic, funny, enjoyable to be around!] Is she the type who is incapable of seeing that for herself?

She strikes me as the type. It's like when you know you can be great, and you can seem confident, but at the same time, that confident version of you feels like a separate person from your real self.

[ As she reaches for the beans (literal) this time, giving him a pointed look. She's thinking about the show he'd put on during their date last week, how easily he seemed to slip into another persona. ]

[. . . hey! that pointed look!! Edamura pretends he doesn't notice as he munches on some more sashimi]

So she needs a little push to be more confident?

[and someone to push her into that. . . hm! that's food for thought for later, when they're working through the other matches]

Or to learn that her confident self is the same as her real self.

[ Points the edamame pod straight at him and nods. ]

That's exactly it. Though I know it's not so easy.

[ She leans and props her head up with her free hand. ]

When it comes to someone's 'real self,' I'm not even sure I know the answer for myself, sometimes. But that's alright.

[. . . . ]

You know. . . I think the "real self" can be pretty multifaceted. Nobody has just one side to them, right? We're all far more complicated than that.

[what's this. . . ? bean getting philosophical??]

There's the side of you that you save for work, for your friends, for your family, for strangers .. . [a beat] . . . for the people you care about! Right?

So maybe there isn't just one "real self." Maybe you have several.

[ woah... philosobean moment...

Shoko just sort of stares at him, humming thoughtfully while she munches on the edamame. ]

...Mm. I think that's a good way of looking at it. But still, if someone I cared about didn't know about one side of my real self, that could be pretty painful down the line, wouldn't it...

[ she sighs, shaking her head. ]

Guess there's a reason sorcerers didn't really tend to settle down with non-sorcerers. All this stuff used to be secret until recently, too, but...

[he can feel that staring, and he knows. . . deep down, he knows she can sense the deeper meaning in his words. his gaze flickers to the side, taking in the cameramen who are diligently filming this entire interaction, as he takes another swig of his beer]

[. . .]

[. . . maybe he can "accidentally" break their equipment. . . ?]

You're right. It would be pretty painful. [to. . . keep such a large secret from the one you cared about. there's a sort of wistful tone in his voice that suggests he empathizes] So. . . even if there are multiple parts to you that are real, I hope you find the chance to share them all with Poppy.

That way, she can appreciate all of you. Every little thing that makes you who you are!

[her sleepless nights, her poor coping habits, the burdens she carries upon her shoulders. . . all of that alongside the really cool and fun and thoughtful person that Shoko has shown everyone thus far]

[ Pesky camera crew, indeed. There really hasn't been a good way to have more private conversations other than. Y'know.

A real pain in the ass, because the more she gets to talk with Edamura like this, the more it seems like... he understands her more than he even lets on with his words. Like there's - maybe - a side of his real self, too, that he hasn't shown just yet.

However, the sides that she has gotten to see so far...?

Shoko smiles, something warmer and more fond than usual. ]

...You're a really sweet guy, Makoto.

[AND THEY CAN'T GET TO. . . Y'KNOW. . . while they're out enjoying an izakaya. either way, her words bring a small touch of pink to his cheeks, and he lowers his gaze, not even bothering to hide his smile. sweet, huh. . .]

[. . .]

[. . . he thinks he is anything but]

Say, Shoko--

[he looks up again, reaching his arm across the table to reach for some edamame--]

[his arm bumps into the half-full pitcher of beer they're sharing between themselves, knocking it clear off of the table and. . . right onto some of the camera equipment! the equipment sparks and smokes, with the cameramen letting out a few sharp and surprised curses as they move to unplug the electronics before a fire starts]

[Edamura looks HORRIFIED]

Guh-- I'm so sorry. . . ! D-do you need me to help pay for that when the show is over--?

[one of the crew members mumbles about how Edamura probably couldn't afford it, before telling his coworkers that they have extra camera stuff in the car outside. it'll only take ten minutes to set it up!]

[. . . . . .]

[when they aren't looking, Eeamura leans over the table to mutter, voice pitched low]

-- okay, so I bought us ten minutes. That should be more than enough.

[THIS GUY. HE WASTED BEER TO TAKE OUT THE CAMERAS??]]

[ Shoko remains as composed as ever even as chaos erupts around her, though she can't say she's disappointed about the cameras getting ruined at all. They've been here three weeks, and it's all starting to get annoying... ]

[ ... But she is surprised when Edamura reveals he'd done it all on purpose.... AND WASTED BEER.......!! ]

..........Eh?

[THEIR POOR, WASTED ALCOHOL. . .]

Sorry about the beer. . . but I don't want this to be recorded. I can't risk anyone incidentally seeing me talk about this on television.

[the way he says it makes it sound so serious, even as he casually picks up chopsticks again. his experiences with Odile, at least, have taught him a much better way to approach the subject]

The truth is. . . I'm not a freelancer.

[he's kind of surprised so many people bought that explanation. then again, sometimes there's a part of him that is always surprised when people buy his lies so easily]

I'm a confidence man.

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