perfectmatch | week three

[JUST TWO. . . HE PROMISES]

Nothing changed my mind. I still think she's. . . pretty great.

[he still thinks it might be nice to kiss her!! there's open affection in his smile as he looks down, recalling their silly competition at the batting cages. every answer she had given to his curious questions. . . about her life, her career, the things she wanted to do (travel) the things she was looking for in a partner (someone to temper her when she pushed too far). the small flicker of adventure he could see in her eyes that made his heart beat a little faster, as much as he would never admit to it aloud]

[. . .]

[but. . .]

. . . I just can't give her what Luka does! That's all. [he looks up again, still smiling. he says that, but there's no sense of self-deprecation in his words] That level of. . . absolute devotion.

[. . .]

It's only been two, going on three, weeks, Odile. I can't fall in love that fast.

[not. . . like Luka had]

[ ... ]

Nor can I, Edamura. But do you think Maya wants for that type of devotion?

[ Something to chew on, for a moment, before she continues. ]

I would still like you to give yourself a chance.

And when you're rejected, you can join me in the dumps.

[ lol ]

[oh my god]

[FLICKS A PUZZLE PICE AT HER]

Eeeeh. . . I guess the dumps aren't so bad if you're there with me.

[ She cackles quietly, taking the piece and putting it into place. ]

I agree. Misery loves company, after all.

[ ... Oh, there's the sound of the camera people asking around outside the hobby store. They are going to be sorely disappointed to find them just doing a puzzle. ]

... I don't think I would mind much if you were my perfect match, you know. Of anyone here, I feel that you and I get along best -- if we go on Ringo's "spark" talk, is this not similar? If purely platonic.

[. . . god, they sure are. nothing salacious here, just nerds being nerds! Edamura lets out a small sigh, but truthfully, he knew they'd only be able to lose the crew for a short period of time. everything he wanted to say behind closed doors has been said, so. . . there's no point in running now]

I wouldn't mind it either, Odile. In fact, I think I'd be pretty honored if you were my match.

[it might be kind of nice. prove that the producers know what they're doing, even if their bond is platonic. almost familial]

. . . but do you really think we are, though?

I'd hate to be wrong and risk everyone's wish, of course... but I don't think it so improbable. You are, in many ways, what I am searching for in a match.

[ Even after his lies, which he had decided to come clean about -- that is important to her, more than anything else. ]

It would however refute one of the more confident pairs, putting us ahead none still. It depends on how willing we are to gamble.

[. . . oh??]

I. . . am?

[????]

[a lengthy pause, before he decides to be brave and ask. . .]

How?

What a spoiled child you are. Haven't I given you enough?

[ But it's just a tease, settling back as she studies what's left and begins to work anew. ]

You are a good man, Edamura. Someone I get along with, feel comfortable around, can speak easily to... who doesn't push nor touch me unnecessarily, and someone whose values -- or at least, whose mindset, is not so different than my own. These things are important to me. What is more important than anything, however, is your honesty.

[ Her gaze draws up to him slightly, smile small. ]

You've done a lot of hiding. But you know when to come clean, and even if it may damage the relationships you cherish -- you still did. It takes courage, Edamura, of which you are in no short supply.

The only thing is we are too similar in our guard, and admittedly I'm sure they've chosen a match that might let me open myself a little more than I have in these past few weeks. Someone who might pry the way I do, who won't let me draw back the way I tend to when it comes to matters of the heart.

[SPOILED CHILD???]

[c. covers his face with his hand, something red creeping out from underneath his fingers, spreading to the tips of his ears]

Odile. . .

That's so embarrassing.

[BUT HE SAYS IT SO FONDLY]

Yes, it is, so do forget it and return my shoe.

[ Hand it over bean boy. ]

I don't know that I suit your wants for a match any, but... that is why I don't think it's unlikely, save for the confidence of our others. We might just be lucky in our connection otherwise, with "fate" having nothing to do with it.

[laughs, lowering his hand so he can pick up her shoe and toss it back to her. the camera crew has finally found them, panting heavily as they give them both the stink eye for their fifteen minute reprieve. Edamura ignores them]

. . . then maybe I should bump us up from a two to a seven?

[A SEVEN IS A GOOD SCORE!]

Do you want to know another secret, Odile? [a beat] It's not that serious. I promise.

[ Seven is a viable score, and she pays no mind to the crew either as she fits her shoe back on. Their fault for getting lost. ]

Well, go ahead then. You've been trying my patience all day.

[ Light as it is, still true. ]

[yeah! they were even kind enough to wait here in the store for them!]

. . . the truth is, I don't really know what I'm looking for!

[he says with a smile and a laugh as he turns back to the puzzle. once again not self-deprecating, but. . . painfully, hopelessly lost]

All that stuff I said before. . . about a "spark," or waiting for the right person to come along. . . it sounds nice. It's romantic and sweet and I'd like to believe in it. I'd like to think something like that exists for me.

[a breath]

But I don't.

[their puzzle is probably about halfway finished by now, with all the hard work they've been doing]

I think love is. . . in actuality, pretty messy and painful. I think it can hurt a lot more than people give it credit for. [. . .] Maybe. . .that's my problem.

[everyone else just knew. Furina and Ringo, Luka, Poppy and Shoko, Nico and Aventurine. they just knew, and here Edamura is, slowly dipping his toes into a world in which he has no experience, trying his hardest to be a romantic when. . . deep down. . .]

[he has never been one at all]

[ ... Hmm. She understands, both from his view and her own. Love is painful. That's why Siffrin's words had stung, why Edamura's slow build to the truth had clawed her chest, why... even the lack of it, from her mother, hurt so much despite her efforts. It has never been something wholly good or kind, only-- ]

You don't want to be hurt.

[ Simply, because she understands. Neither does she. ]

We are overly cautious, perhaps, and analytical to a fault. "Feeling"... is not our speciality. Unlike many others. But you should know, Edamura, that they have allowed themselves to be hurt, to risk that, and they have been surprised by the result. Aventurine wasn't certain at all last we spoke -- and I did encourage him to speak up, whether he thought he had, or deserved to have, a chance -- so at the very least, in his case... He knew well the messy, painful side of it.

[ Just as they do. ]

It does sound nice though, doesn't it? To find someone that may accept all that you have, or don't have, to offer. To find bliss in your every day with them. To be swept away by romance, to know. But I doubt any of them truly did, Edamura. They only wanted to look at the day ahead and see the person they like within it.

[ ... And, to that...

...........

Mmm. She can... perhaps, still see where it goes, once she has apologized for her bullheadedness and seen how he feels now, but... to call it anything so juvenile is beyond her. ]

You know, I was quite glad Furina and Ringo took to the booth. I still don't fully understand it, but I believe half of that dreadful "l-word" might be regret. And if there is someone or something you would feel "regret" towards for abstaining, then perhaps that is something worth trying regardless of the unknown result.

[you don't want to be hurt, she says. is that it. . .?]

[. . .]

[perhaps. he has been hurt before. not by love, necessarily, but just. . . by the many twists and turns that his life has taken. it rings especially true when everything Odile says reminds him a lot of what Ringo had told him. hadn't Ringo admitted that she didn't really know? that she had her own share of doubts and uncertainties? and in the end, hadn't she said that it all came down to bravery?]

You know. . .! I feel like I've been getting a lot of advice about this the past few days. [much-needed advice, funnily enough] Thanks, Odile.

I'll keep everything you said in mind.

Oh, don't think you're the only one getting something out of this. Talking about it outloud... certainly has been worthwhile, even if you are the only one I can confess to.

[ And the staff are so mad they missed the juicy "who are they talking about" bits. So sad. ]

But please do. And... I may revisit my thoughts on a certain someone in return, so perhaps you will have one more update to look forward to.

[SORRY TO DENY YOU ALL THE JUICY FOOTAGE OF EDAMURA'S SWINDLER PAST AND ODILE'S INTREST IN VERSO--]

Oh, yeah--? [leaning forward!] I'm all ears!

[her biggest hype man]

You will be the first to hear of it, Edamura. That I promise.

[ And one she will keep, since he wasn't the first to hear last time. ]

[aw]

I thought you were going to tell me now.

[disappointed. . .]

[ Not a chance, bean boy!!! ]

Not until you have something of your own to share, brat. I've learned my lesson about trusting you to make any kind of jump with me.

[. . . she has him there!]

[squinting at her for a moment, before. . .]

[A SMALL SIGH. . .]

. . . I had a really good time with Shoko and Serpilia last week. But they're both--

[. . .]

[another exhale]

Ah, you know! Again, some people know much faster than others, right. . .?

Edamura.

[ Her boy. ]

I think you have plenty of time and chances to see if one of them might spare you an hour of the day to state, at the very least, your interest in any of them, if nothing else. It is not a bold declaration of feelings, only a pronounced desire to know them better than you wish to know others.

[ ... ]

Rom too, if you'd like.

[ what's auntie know anyway ]

[. . . and they're back to the being brave thing, are they? Edamura slots a few more pieces of their puzzle together as they now move into the home stretch. they can solve this in one sitting!!]

Yeah. . . [. . . she has a point. . .] But I don't want to get in the way of any. . . thing. . .

[. . .]

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1/2 when will the multi comment chains end